Numbers in line...

A week has flown by since my last post... a busy week here in our household! My husband returned from his business trip, so we had a re-Christmas and re-birthday celebration last weekend. More yummy foods, more presents to open, more of the general madness, merriment, and disruption from routine that is brought on by a holiday. This time Daniel's blood sugar stayed in line, however.

We seem to have difficulty keeping Daniel's blood sugar stable while traveling. Also, Daniel wasn't incredibly disciplined during this last trip... lots of food around grandma's house, lots of nibbling without really knowing a carb count. I know it is a chore on any given day to count the carbs of all the food he eats. I experience the same frustration doing Weight Watchers, trying to track my points. I greatly dislike tracking every little thing I put into my mouth, yet that's exactly what I have to do for Daniel. What he has to do for himself. Huh. I don't mind counting all *his* food, but I seriously balk at counting up my own. What's up with that?

I did gain a little weight over the holidays -- 1.4 pounds, but I'm not too upset with that. I'd rather have stayed level, but am very happy to have kept the gain under 5 pounds. I'm back on track with the program, and will *attempt* to write down all the foods I eat and get my own numbers in line. They say that people who do track their intake religiously lose more weight than people who don't. I guess I have to explore why I consider tracking to be so difficult. Honestly, half the time I just forget. I need to find a way to make this habit stick. To do for myself what I do for my son.

Season of Sweets

It started today.


I walked into my classroom, and on my desk sat a chocolate chip pound cake. Just what I need! The season of sweets has started. I have been trying so hard to lose the weight I gained after Daniel was diagnosed -- I neglected myself for a while. Plus I was sad. Eating = comfort. Sadness scares away the desire to exercise. Bad combination. So I've lost *almost* 10 of the pounds I gained, and am almost at the point where my brain says, "Hey! Just for fun, whaddaya say we exercise today!" It's a weird paradigm shift.

Then the cake appears, and I know it is only the beginning.

The kids have already started asking, "when are we going to make cookies/toffee/pizzelles?" They came home with trays of chocolates from our church's holiday craft day.

I need a strategy to get through the next few weeks. Celery, anyone?

Weighty Matters

It seems like a lot of people in the diabetes OC and beyond are either following their weight loss resolutions or resolutely deciding to lose weight. It could be that it's the beginning of a new year, when we all make plans to change things in our lives. It could just be a continuing health issue, or an upcoming event. For me, two years ago, I was planning on having some foot surgery and didn't want to lug an extra 15-20 pounds around on crutches. No matter what the reason, there's a brave & supportive group of people out there posting their weight, their loss, their trials, their desires, struggles and successes. I would like to be one of them.

Two years ago I lost almost 20 pounds on weight watchers. I had been at my highest point ever, 174 pounds. I saw a picture of myself and said, "UGH!! How did I get there?" It seemed impossible, because for a few years I had been fighting horrible gut problems. A few weeks after Dominic was born I got food poisoning. It landed me in the hospital, dehydrated and in great pain. I was sent home with anti nausea, anti diarrheal, and a couple of other medications. I was told to eat a B.R.A.T. diet for a couple of days and then gently begin a normal diet.

I tried. It didn't work. My digestive tract just didn't want to act normally. Anything I ate or drank sent my system into spasms. The anti-diarrheal medicine they gave me at the hospital worked, but knocked me out completely. I couldn't work. I couldn't eat rice. I couldn't eat a plain potato, or an egg. I tried many different things. Finally, there were 3 things that I could have that didn't cause instant pain & diarrhea. Water, Gatorade, and jello. Of those 3 things, the only thing I like is water.

For 3 weeks I lived on water, Gatorade, and jello. I lost all my pregnancy weight and more. I was the skinniest I had ever been in my life. But of course I felt awful. I had no energy. I had 3 kids, one of them a new baby, and I was nursing! My hair was falling out and I had a short fuse.

Eventually, of course, I tried eating again. One of the first food successes was banana. Then oatmeal. Soon I was eating toast. I tried the B.R.A.T. diet again. Whew! Almost back to normal. There was one problem. Every time I tried to eat some of my favorite things like most raw fruits & vegetables, I'd be back in the bathroom, crying. The doctors scoped me up and down and decided that I had irritable bowel syndrome. They said I just had to figure out what foods caused me problems and avoid those foods.

Ugh! That was a great help. Thanks for scoping me up and down and giving me that very wise answer, that's what I was doing in the first place.

On the advice of a friend I tried taking Metamucil. Now I have found that if I have my daily dose, I am once again able to eat insoluble fiber like salad without a problem. My weight stabilized. Is everybody happy? YES!

Then came May 2007, and Daniel's diabetes diagnosis. When I was with him in the hospital for those 3 days, I had the first IBS attack in years. Does stress bring about IBS? YES. The hospital gift shop was out of pepto bismol, which is my quick fix. Matt brought some for me from home, but mistakenly brought the kid's kind. I doubled the dose & chomped it down. Increased my water intake, switched to the B.R.A.T. diet, settled down.

Now I look at how I have eaten in the months since May. My weight has crept up and up. I am now back to my highest weight again. All my pants are tight and my body hurts. I can't do my yoga poses properly. I can't believe I'm here! I need to make a change. I think I must be using food to compensate for something -- I'm not sure for what (feel free to psychoanalyze here). So it's time to take control again.

I've always been very sensitive about my weight. I've never let people know how much I weigh, probably because I've been able to "hide" it. I'm tall. People never guess. But I am inspired by other bloggers who are being very open about their decision to join weight watchers or do other diets. Also, I'm doing my very best to keep my children healthy and teach them good food habits. Why am I ignoring myself?

So here I go. Going to take control. I plan on going back to weight watchers. I don't know if I'm going to post my weight every week. I don't know if I can do that just yet. But I will try.

Every pound is four sticks of butter.

Every goal begins with an intention.