Today we went to a Holiday Craft Day at our UU church. The kids made candles, hammered tin tubes to put around the candles, bags of dried bean soup, pine cones rolled in crisco & bird seed, and chocolates. They decorated the gingerbread church (see picture). We sang carols & Hanukkah songs, we had a picnic lunch, and a great time. When we got home, we got the holiday decorations out of the attic.
Later, I used the last of the Thanksgiving turkey in a pot pie. I didn't put a bottom crust in because I was trying to cut down on the carbs. I used a gluten free recipe, and counted all the carbs. I had more turkey than the recipe called for and wanted to use it up, so I added more veggies & broth.
I counted up the carbs for the flour, the cream, and the topping. It was a little soupy, so I ended up scooping out some of the sauce before putting the topping on. What the heck does that do to the carbs I counted out?
There wasn't enough topping to cover two dishes, so I made a little more. The dishes were not of equal size. I had to estimate what percentage went into which dish.
Have I mentioned that I was an English major, not a math major?
I thought I had it all figured out correctly. But looking at Daniel's evening number, I don't think that is the case.
It's so frustrating, trying to make this all work. Trying to get the numbers right, trying not to hurt my child. Did I do it wrong? Is it the fact that he is growing? Is the insulin getting old? WTF??? I try to keep everything under control and I JUST CAN'T.
We are not even a year into this disease, and I know we're still on a learning curve. Our holiday traditions have to change, to fit to our new situation. Yes, I'm going to figure out how to make gluten free cookies so Daniel won't be left out of the decorating and the nibbling. No, he won't have a lot of cookies because of the diabetes. Yes, I'll write down every carb in the recipe so I know exactly what is going into his mouth.
I want to think about presents and traveling for the holiday and our blessings, but tonight all I can think about are NUMBERS. Every day our we have a conversation about numbers. How can something that is so invisible to the majority of people take up 99 percent of our house?
