Matt asked me if we wanted to celebrate... no, not celebrate. Commemorate. Bring attention to. Get a cake or something.
I said, how about we light a candle and say a prayer?
One year ago Daniel was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. One year ago, at this time, I sat beside him in the intensive care unit, willing him to heal. One year and half a day ago I had no idea what diabetes meant.
Daniel isn't paying much attention to this anniversary. But as a parent, I can't help it. I'll never forgot the rush to the hospital, the switch to another hospital, the frank diagnosis, the kindness of nurses. The snoring, buzzing sounds and hushed voices in the common sleeping area for parents with kids in the ICU. The 3 sleepless days and nights.
Days and nights that followed in a blur of shots and numbers, watching the clock, clocking the test results.
I told a friend today that when Daniel comes home from school I don't ask, "How was your day?" I ask, "What were your numbers?" That needs to change.
One year later, I no longer have nightmares night after night about giving the wrong dose of insulin, making mistakes with carb counts, causing Daniel to sicken. I no longer cry myself to sleep every evening with my hand clapped against my mouth so he won't hear me down the hall. We're in a routine. Daniel counts carbs & gives himself shots. He has taken on this disease, he's roped it in.
So one year later, I *do* celebrate. I celebrate the strength and courage of my child. I honor his ability to go with the flow. I am in awe of his constant, happy demeanor.
I light a candle and say a prayer.
Let there be a cure in our lifetime.
12 comments:
What can someone say to this? It's beautiful. You are an amazing mother and you've obviously raised one heck of a son. My prayer will be for all of the mothers and fathers of children with diabetes, it's harder on you than it is on us.
eHug!
Amen.
As a parent you take on so much with a diabetic child. As a child (I know this from personal experience) you take on so much with diabetes.
You seem to have done as well as you could have asked. Just keep trying. Every day is different, every day is new.
And life is beautiful. I think we appreciate it a little more with diabetes in our lives.
And I'll say the prayer with you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
you are such a great mom! enjoy this and every day together.
in my prayers,
jules
Thanks everyone!
Right before Daniel went to bed, I lit the candle & said a prayer. Started bawling, and Daniel made a crack about women being so EMOTIONAL!!! But then he said he'd like to turn back the clock, to make it so that diabetes never happened.
Yes, yes, yes.
Ashley -- I read your post & wonder what you used instead of dairy in the spinach pie?
The strength you all found is an excellent thing to celebrate.
I love this entry, Naomi. This entry reminded me of how my mom must have felt the day I was diagnosed at 1am in the morning, no less. My prayer is that diabetes won't hinder Daniel in any way, but it will teach him to be a stronger and better young man.
Naomi -
Well, you can celebrate that Daniel is here and doing well. Sure he has his ups and downs (and not just regarding the blood sugars,) but he doing fine and so are you. Doesn't always feel like it I'm sure, but your all doing OK.
You can celebrate that you are a wonderful mom and that your family has grown closer, stronger, and more resilient due to Daniel's diagnoses than you ever even thought possible.
You must celebrate the fact that Daniel has a beautiful life and diabetes will help him appreciate every nuance in it.
Sending HUGS to your whole family!
k2
(((hugs))) everyone, thanks!!
hugs to your family! blessings come in unexpected forms sometimes...
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