Wild and Precious Life

Oh my aching back!

2011-07-31T18:54:00.002-04:00

I pulled out my lower back putting a case of water into the car. I was in a rush -- the fence guys were coming to demolish/reinstall a fence so our new puppy can stay safely in the back yard. It was one of those 100 degree days, and I wanted to have bottles of water on ice for the guys doing the work.

On top of that (or beneath it) my left leg has been tingling. I'm guessing I've got something pressing on my sciatic nerve, and it is annoying as hell. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow morning to get it checked out. Meanwhile, I'm moaning and groaning about the back pain & leg tingling. Daniel sympathized, and said that he gets those tingling feelings when his blood sugar is high.

Yuck -- an awful thing to go through for high blood sugar or any other reason. This is a feeling I *don't* enjoy sharing with my son!

I know it's boring to talk about the weather, but...

2011-06-08T21:33:00.002-04:00

Dang! It's hot! Someone said the heat index got to 107 today. Okay, not as hot as the normal summer day in Dhahran, so many years ago, but still... not far off. I had difficulty distinguishing between 110 and 120 degrees, anyway.

Thank goodness the pool felt cool.

I saw an ad from minimed the other day -- they make a new infusion set dressing. I wonder if anyone has tried it, and whether it helps keep the set in place on hot, sticky days. It is here. We've used medical tape across the set, but that doesn't always work. I wonder if that is something I should get for Daniel before he goes off to college.

In addition to all the regular stuff -- sheets, towels, pillows, fan, etc., I plan on putting together a medicine box. Sort of a mini version of our upstairs linen closet, where I store all the dayquil, nyquil, advil, and other --ils. I remember getting sick when I was in college, and dragging myself out of bed to the little school store that carried everything from tampax to orange juice. I stared at all the medicine boxes, trying to figure out what it was that we had at home that I would usually take... I think I just bought orange juice.

Taking Daniel to the endo tomorrow. Fingers crossed for a good A1c! He is also participating in a study about older teens/young adults with diabetes who are starting to take on the responsibility of their own care. Should be interesting.

We are also saying goodbye to our usual endo, Dr. P, who has been so wonderful. She is moving to a different office, much farther away. I hope the next endo is as nice, and as thorough.

Then... one more day until GRADUATION!!

Writing is Hard

2011-06-07T20:06:00.002-04:00

I love writing. I don't have much time to do it. Lately I've been going back to my "paper blog," or as I used to call it, my journal. A few minutes at night, a few thoughts on the page, and sleep comes more easily. I also have been thinking alot about writing on line, privacy issues, and what I should or should not say. After a public, online tussle with a relative, I stopped posting so much on Facebook. I disconnected my blog (I think) from my Facebook page. Really, it's not worth getting into online arguments, it's like shouting ugliness in the streets. It goes against my beliefs, and my attempts at right action and right thought.

But there are some things that are nice to put out there into the world. Good thoughts, happy ones. Sending them out like lovely, sparkling fireworks for anyone to enjoy, if they wish. Here's one: my baby is graduating high school. My big, hairy, irreverent, funny, kind, man baby. He is going to go out into the world to do his own thing, to learn to be an adult, to care for his body and mind, to make a place to call his own. I am happy. I am grieving. I am insanely proud.

I wish him Godspeed, good friends, love, and luck. Serendipity. Health. The excitement of discovery. A guardian angel. The swagger of self confidence. Gentle eyes with which to see the world.

Working on the Resolutions

2010-12-22T21:12:00.002-05:00

Laugh more. Stress less. Write more, and flow. Crank down the criticism. Make time for games. And hair cuts (today's felt good). Let go of worry. Maintain a sense of humor. Just keep rowing.

Remember the wonderful things I've learned through yoga: to be still in the moment, to pay attention, to breathe.

Kindle flames of friendship, and let the warmth suffuse my life.

Enjoy the process of moving through life, changing from one day to the next, making connections, making statements, creating worlds of thought. Look people in the eye, find the light in everyone.

Cherish my children every day. How quickly they grow and move on!

Remember who I am.

White Chicken Chili

2010-12-05T11:32:00.002-05:00

I had friends coming over for a meal, and wanted to make Giada De Laurentis' recipe for white chicken chili. The recipe calls for ground chicken and of course when I was looking for ground chicken, I couldn't find it anywhere. But hey, no problem -- I had, hiding in my pantry, the meat grinding attachment for my Kitchen Aid mixer. Time to put that piece of kitchenware to use! I bought a combination of boneless chicken breasts & thighs.

It was easy to put the attachment onto the mixer, and soon I was grinding with ease! I called Dominic over to check it out, knowing how he loves cooking and all things mechanical. He started helping to push the meat through the chute.

"This is pretty cool!" he said.

"Yes," I replied. "I haven't done this in a long time. Not since I was a kid."

"Why did you do this when you were a kid?" he asked.

"I used to make chopped liver with my mom," I said. We used to grind up the cooked liver and onions and some other stuff. But I don't do that anymore."

"Why not?" he asked.

"I don't eat liver anymore," I answered.

He looked at me, and asked, "Because you stopped being a cannibal?"

Then I explained that it was cow liver, not human liver, that we used to cook, and somehow he thought that was even more disgusting.

Mentoring

2010-10-02T22:08:00.003-04:00

When Daniel was diagnosed with type 1, a wonderful woman, C., took me under her wing. C also had a son, a bit older than Daniel, who was dx'd about a year before. C emailed me long letters daily, making sure that we were all okay. She answered all my questions in detail. When I could no longer stand to hear or read anything else about diabetes, she just sent notes that said, "I understand. I'm sorry." She found resources for me, and went with me into Daniel's high school when we had our 504 plan meeting. When the diagnosis happened, we felt like we suddenly had to assimilate an incredible amount of knowledge in order to keep our son alive and functioning. It was hard to remember everything; we had lists and spreadsheets littering every surface of the kitchen... it was crazy. Looking back, it seems so long ago, although three years is not so long. Three years ago, in the middle of the maelstrom, I couldn't imagine regaining a sense of balance, and normalcy.

Fast forward, and we are standing on our feet again. Diabetes is always lurking, ready to lash out if Daniel lets down his guard, but now he knows what to do to keep it under control. And I know what I have to do. In the US alone, 40 children are diagnosed with type 1 diabetes every day. Forty sets of parents grip needles for the first time, trying their best to overcome their fears and inject their children. Thousands upon thousands of bits of data swirl around in their brains, as they try to remember blood sugar to insulin ratios, correction factors, emergency phone numbers. I know I have to be the person at the other end of the phone or the email, ready to say, "I understand. I'm sorry."

Tonight's phone call was pretty difficult. The family was 6 weeks in, and the child was only 8. Mom was unable to give her child a shot... she just couldn't do it, and relied on her husband. She is volunteering in her son's school constantly, because she is scared to have him be there without her. She can't trust anyone else with her son, but she also barely trusts herself!

I remember that feeling of dread, the horrible dreams that I measured out the wrong amount of insulin, that I calculated the carbs wrong, that I sent my child into an awful low. Dreams of endless nights at Children's Hospital. I was just reliving those feelings as I listened to this woman's voice.

We both talked & shared for a long time. I think sometimes it just helps to have someone listen to your fears -- someone who truly gets it. The best I can do right now is just to be there when she calls or emails, and to let her know that her son will be okay, and that they will get through this awful time.

I think it's kind of sad that they call this newly diagnosed time, when your body is still producing some insulin, the honeymoon period, as if it is a lovely thing. As if getting to know this companion, the one who will be with you the rest of your life, is a cause for celebration.

8 Days a Week

2010-09-20T21:00:00.003-04:00

So I thought it would be a good idea to take online courses in Educational Technology Integration so that I could get a certificate which could somehow lead to the job I'm trying to create for myself at some point in the near future. I've jumped into the world of online classes, Grad School a la Chat, with reading assignments up the gazork. I feel like I'm in a 24/7 conversation. It's a bit maddening, and quite different from my previous grad school experience.

But then again, my previous experience was a delicious, self-indulgent soak in poetry. The all night conversations included, at times, visiting artists, and shared bottles of wine. The connections made in that environment were bone deep, and have continued over these many years. The connections I'm making in my current class are through Skype, and can so easily disappear with the last click of the mouse on my final exam.

This class isn't a bad thing, but it feels like a necessary thing. Something to get through. It's difficult though, to do homework of my own, after sitting down to help my children with their homework. I'm ready to discuss "Tuck Everlasting," or write about the Cheyenne Indians, rather than a comparison of the educational value of Learning Today's Smart Tutor program to Math Missions Spectacle City Adventure.

So if I haven't responded to an email, or given you a call for a while, it's because I'm trying to make a deadline, and figure out how to write coherent sentences. I'll come up for air when this class is over, or when I'm out of chocolate, whichever comes first.

September evening

2010-09-08T23:10:00.000-04:00

I love the hiking/biking trail that goes through our neighborhood. I like to walk in the early evening, when the heat loses its grip on the day, and the woods are alive with the chatters and chirps of many little creatures. Today on my walk there were joggers, bikes, scooters, people on the phone, groups of friends, and a man, iPod in ears, singing to himself in a language I did not understand. Bike wheels spoke, “thump thump thump” over the wooden footbridge, then, “hissssss” on the paved trail as I walked along.

I can tell that fall is approaching, even though the air is still hot and dry, and the trees are starting to crisp from lack of rain. The sunlight has changed – golden honey dripping through the branches, catching up loose leaves in its flow and scattering them on the ground. On the last part of my walk I saw a medium sized buck standing away from the path, in a patch of sunlight near a stand of oak trees. As I passed him he heard the whisper of grass under my feet, and he looked up, chewing. For that moment, there was no one else on the trail. The grasshoppers fiddled melodies, and somewhere a clock ticked closer to autumn. The oak trees understood, and released a fall of acorns. They rained down in the sunlight in front of the deer. A sprinkle. A nutstorm.

Then it passed, as storms do. The trail traffic resumed, the deer looked away, and I walked past, to the road that leads to my house.

Eat a lot of peaches!

2010-07-17T22:14:00.002-04:00

We are lucky to have a little farm near our house, and they have THE BEST PEACHES. Every week a different variety is in season. We have to keep checking in so that we don't miss the ones we love. The white, low acid peaches -- Sugar May, White Ladies, Sugar Giants, Saturns -- those are our favorites. I also enjoy the yellow peaches, which are less sugary but more deeply peachy.

Just peachy.

Today I dropped the peaches, 3 at a time, into a small pot of boiling water. Boiled them for 1 minute, then took them out with a slotted spoon and put them in a bowl. Carried those gorgeous, glowing globes (snort) to the sink and slipped them from their skins (that's what the boiling does), sliced them up, and stirred in a drop of lemon juice to make sure they didn't brown. We had them after dinner with a choice of peach or vanilla ice cream.

Ahh, summer...

Shimmering in the heat

2010-07-08T20:06:00.004-04:00

It's rather boring, isn't it, to speak of the weather, of the relentless heat, the grass going dormant and crisping as if the sun was trying to achieve that nutty, toasted grass flavor? Yes, but I can't help it. Can't change it, so I'm doomed to talk about the blasting, shimmering oven just outside my door. Even the pool is warm. Swimming laps is just slightly more refreshing than jogging. I drive around, and the car air conditioner competes with the ever-warming dashboard for control of the car's temperature.

The hot air washes the colors out of the grass, flowers, sky, and drifts, barely moving, in the steely light. No wind.

I was hoping for a thunderstorm tonight, a cicada-silencing, child-frightening, wild tumble of leaf rip and water sheet. But the trees are motionless. A sedentary cloud above. Dominic is watching "The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)" and the earth is still. Still hot.

Long time no type

2010-07-04T18:10:00.002-04:00

Wow, I can't believe it has been almost two months since my last post. The end of the school year was so busy, and at the end of May Daniel had a 5 day stay in the hospital just to add to the fun. More on that later. A couple of days after school ended, we went on a trip to my in-law's house, and took in some college visits while we were up in New England. We came back home on Friday, and the hot and humid weather is in force. I am so thankful for air conditioning!

On May 24th I had just arrived at work, and I was setting up my computer in a quiet place away from my classroom so I could work on grades. The receptionist found me and said that my child's school nurse was on the phone for me. Doesn't that always send a shiver down your spine? I mean, with Daniel it could be anything from "we need more supplies" to "his blood sugar is way high/low, take him home!" The last time I got a call from a school nurse, it was for my younger son, Dominic, who got a goose egg on his forehead during recess and spent the rest of the day in her office with a headache. Ugh.

This time the nurse said that Daniel was having trouble breathing, that he complained of pain in his left shoulder, and that his left arm was numb. Yikes! I gathered all my stuff and drove across the county as fast as I could. I tried calling his pediatrician, but it was Monday morning and I got an automatic message saying that I was 5th in line, which is usually a 10-15 minute wait. I called the nurse back and asked if she thought, based on how he was feeling, whether I should try to get him into the pediatrician or take him to the ER. She said, "Oh, if you can get him into your pediatrician, that would be good." Then she told me to hold, and I could hear a discussion going on in the background. She came back on the line and told me, "okay, I think it would be good if you took him to the emergency room."

I freaked out and drove faster, wondering if Daniel was having a heart attack, and why the school nurse didn't put him in an ambulance. But at that point I was close to school, closer than an ambulance, so I picked him up and started heading for the nearest hospital. My brain was going, "closest hospital? or Children's hospital? Closest? Childrens?" Daniel said, "why are we going this way? This isn't towards home? Can't I just sleep this off?" Sheesh. "NO! We are going to the ER!" Daniel rolled his eyes. "I don't want to go to the emergency room!"

I didn't tell him that I was worried about his symptoms because I didn't want to freak him out. Luckily, the ER was pretty empty, and we were seen right away. The doctor listened to his heart, took his vitals, and said, "Well, we're going to do an x-ray. And we'll do an ekg just to totally rule anything else out, but his heart sounds fine."

That was a huge relief for me. They rolled in the ekg machine, and quickly ruled out a heart attack. The x-ray showed the real story -- that his lung had spontaneously collapsed. The doctor said that they would be sending Daniel in an ambulance to Children's hospital (Ugh! Should have gone there first!) where they would do a further examination. She said that many times these pneumothoraxes heal on their own. Sometimes you need a chest tube. But she thought he'd be fine.

So here's the deja vu part of the story -- 3 years before, in May 2007, Daniel was diagnosed with diabetes. We started at this same hospital, and then they sent us in an ambulance to Children's. At that time I was in such shock that my brain wasn't functioning enough to figure out who could take care of my other 2 kids. This time was different. My brain was making lists. First I ran upstairs to see my mom, who was in the hospital for another issue. Luckily she was better, and a day away from being released. I let her know what was going on. Then I got on the phone. I called friends to take care of my other two kids because the doctor told me we would be in the hospital at least over night. Then I called my husband's boss. My husband was out of town on a business trip, and I needed him back right away! His boss was great -- once she found out what was going on she started making travel arrangements for Matt before she even contacted him.

We got to Children's hospital, where they told us that Daniel needed a chest tube. They inserted it in the emergency room, while he was awake (high on morphine and numbed with something else), while I was holding his hand. When they cut him he said, "Ouch?"

"Oh, you felt that? Give him some more "something-caine."

Then a few minutes later, Daniel said, "You have your fingers on my rib right now, don't you?" Oh God. I held his hand, bent my head down, and decided quite firmly that I would NOT be a fainting parent." It was a tight squeeze between his ribs, but then the doc said, "You'll hear a pop!" and it went POP and the tube was in. We spent the next few days waiting for the lung to reinflate. It took 2 tries, but finally worked with no surgery.

My husband came home, my kids were cared for, and Daniel and I spend 5 sleepless nights with the wonderful staff of Children's. He's fine now, with a little scar on his chest as a reminder of that crazy week. There's a 30 percent chance of it happening again, in which case they would do surgery right away to make sure that the lung can't collapse again.

The pneumothorax had nothing to do with his diabetes. He fits the profile of tall, skinny, young male -- apparently it is quite common. Just like type 1 diabetes.

All's well that ends well. I'm thankful that we're all together now, and on our way to see the fireworks. Happy fourth of July!

Gluten Free Potstickers

2010-05-14T19:09:00.010-04:00

I'm teaching a gluten free cooking class for a few weekends, and found out that the oven at the church where I'm teaching is just not very reliable. You have to turn it on an hour or two in advance of cooking, and then crank it all the way up to get it warm. The temperature gauge is not reliable, and when I taught a class on how to make gluten free flatbread, the bread came out al dente, which is not how it is supposed to be. So I was researching recipes that don't use an oven and came across Gluten Free Gobsmacked's (Kate Chan) recipe for potstickers. You can find it here.

I made a test batch tonight, and they were yummy! I made changes to her recipe, though, because of the ingredients I had on hand. For the dough I followed her recipe exactly, and it turned out great. She says she uses the same dough for egg rolls, and I think it would work very well for ravioli, too. It rolls out easily (between sheets of parchment paper or cut-open large ziploc bags) and handles well. A few of the potstickers cracked a little when I filled them, but they held together when they were boiled and nothing leaked out. They also held together when I crisped them in the pan, and the crunchy dough was delicious!!

Her filling recipe calls for chicken thighs, which I didn't have at home. I had a package of thin-cut pork loin chops, so I used that. I also had some baby bok choy that looked lovely and fresh at the store this week, so I used that instead of onion. I chopped it up and sauteed it very quickly, for about 2 minutes, over high heat in some olive oil before adding it to the recipe. Finally, instead of parsley I used cilantro. I am growing both in my garden this year, but had already cut some cilantro for another recipe and needed to use it up. I found it helped to mix the "meat paste" by hand to really incorporate all of the ingredients.

When all was done, the recipe made 24 potstickers. I think I could have gotten a few more out of the recipe if I had rolled the dough a little thinner than the 1/8 inch that the recipe calls for. I think it would have held together okay. Based on my calculations, each potsticker was about 12 carbs.

As I was making the potstickers, I thought how Daniel hasn't had them since he was diagnosed, about 3 years ago. Slowly, slowly we are finding ways to make all his favorite dishes. This was a labor intensive dish, though. I think that the next time I make these I will split up the work -- make the "meat paste" the day before and put it away, so that there is less cleaning up of the cuisinart between steps. I will also make a really huge batch and freeze them, the way I have done with ravioli, so I don't have to do it so often! I think it would also help to cook/clean with a partner on this one!

It was good work tonight, though. It took my mind off the things that worry me. My mom had to go to the hospital today. All good thoughts and prayers are appreciated. And in the meantime, I'm taking some butter out of the freezer to make more gluten free cookies. I can just keep on cooking until the phone rings...

Artificial Pancreas

2010-04-20T19:32:00.003-04:00

I've read a couple of intriguing articles about a robotic/artificial pancreas, and it seems hopeful for the near future. There's a great article in Wired Magazine this month here, and and another article from the LA Times here about Boston researchers who are using a combination of insulin & glucagon in their trial pancreas. They seem to think that something can be on the market in as little as 7 years.

We have the technology. All the pieces just have to be put together. It's very exciting. I hope that when it all comes together, that health insurance companies will make such devices available and affordable.

Also, although the technology is wonderful, an artificial pancreas is still not a CURE! So let's keep working on that, eh?

Hog Heaven

2010-04-07T09:59:00.008-04:00

We've just returned from a trip to western North Carolina, with a college visit in Virginia along the way. When I researched our trip, I didn't get too many good "hits" for celiac-friendly places in the general vicinity, so we packed up the car with GF pasta, flour, bread, pizza dough, cookies -- enough to last a hungry teenager for a week. Right before we left I found the Glutino brand oreo type cookies which, according to Daniel, are pretty good for a GF cookie. Still, I knew there would be a number of times that we would have to eat in restaurants, so I was concerned.

We stayed overnight near Blacksburg, VA so that we could do a tour of Virginia Tech. I asked the hotel clerk for food recommendations, and she reeled off a list of fast food names that were not good for gluten-free eating. Then she said, "Oh, and there's a barbecue place a couple of miles down the road. You can't miss the sign with the big pink pig." We decided to check out the menu. It was either that, or a baked potato at Wendy's, which would have been okay, but not great.

I went into the restaurant first to ask about gluten free choices. I don't know -- I may have been the first person ever to ask, because I had to explain gluten. However -- the people at Due South BBQ were wonderful. They went over all their ingredients, and we determined that it would be okay for Daniel to eat there. It turned out to be okay for all of us. The meat was falling-off-the-bone delicious, there were numerous sauces to choose from, and we even were lucky enough to visit on a night with live music.

Our tour guide at Virginia Tech had a soy allergy, so she was a good person to ask about dining with special needs. She pointed out a dining hall where we could eat lunch. It was okay. Based on what I saw, I'm not sure it's that easy to stay on a GF diet there. But wow, what a lovely school.

As we headed south, barbecue became our go-to choice for safe celiac eating. Granted, we had to ask that no hush puppies or fries or rolls touch the plate, and Daniel couldn't satisfy his sweet tooth afterward (unless they had vanilla ice cream). But he could eat his fill of barbecue (ribs, pulled pork, chicken), beans, and cole slaw with no problem. By the end of the week we had all had enough of barbecue. Even my husband. I've never seen that happen before!

I did find a listing for a totally gluten-free restaurant in Asheville, But there was major construction on that particular road, and we just couldn't find it. We ended up eating at Moe 's Southwest Grill (a fast food chain) for lunch that day, and the lady behind the counter there went out of her way to make sure Daniel's nachos were gluten free. The cheesy sauce that is poured on top of nachos is often NOT gluten free, but she sprinkled regular shredded cheese on his nachos and heated them up in the clamshell cooker. It took an extra 5 minutes, but we appreciated the attention to detail.

On one of our trips, we ended up in the small town of Brevard, NC. We found a lovely place there: Rocky's Soda Shop, which is set up like an old fashioned soda shop restaurant with a lovely lunch counter, great milkshakes, and fun, touristy stuff for sale. (I bought a Transylvania County t-shirt that has the saying "Transylvania County / Just Bite Me"). We were hoping to get a bunless burger there, but they only sold hot dogs. Hot dogs often have gluten, so that was a no-no. But they also made chili, and the cook told us what was in it. He even made it into a chili/salad combo so that Daniel could have a side dish. They were great. The milkshakes were made with Edy's ice cream, which we know is okay.

So the celiac thing went okay. But with all that fat, the blood sugar numbers were running high! We had a little scare when Daniel changed his site one day, and when he was trying to prime his pump, it gave the message "no delivery." He tried and retried a few times, and finally it worked. We didn't know what happened, but were happy that the pump was pumping, When we got home, this happened again, so we called minimed's technical assistance number. Daniel kept trying to get it to work while he was waiting on hold, and after about 10 minutes, it started to work again. When the technician came on the phone, she told us that it probably was not the pump (whew!). It is usually the case that there is a problem with the set, something that happens at the factory. Perhaps the lubricant didn't get all the way into the set, or the needle is bent. They have a set of steps to go through to find out exactly what the problem is. But they were nice, they sent us a couple of replacement sets, and if the problem happens again Daniel will go through the steps with the technician to find out what is wrong. I'm just glad it's not the pump!

Western North Carolina is beautiful. We visited plenty of waterfalls, saw wild elk, wild turkeys, hundreds of butterflies, and we hiked a lot of trails. And climbed a few. Nothing like a steep incline to get those leg muscles working! The scenery on the Blue Ridge parkway is gorgeous! My daughter and I had lots of fun checking out the arts & crafts as well! My friend Jeanne taught us a great family game (pegs and jokers), which was our fun activity every evening.

We even got to feed some burros, which lived near our cabin. They like carrots! All in all, it was a great trip.

Range of Motion

2010-02-27T20:24:00.003-05:00

It feels so good to have my cast off. And while I remain stiff and sore, and I don't have my complete range of motion back yet, typing is certainly much easier now than it has been for the past 6 weeks. type type type type ahhhhhhh.

A little more than 6 weeks ago I was doing some lovely yoga stretches on the kitchen floor, right before bedtime. I stood up, and then I guess I tripped over my own feet... I don't know exactly what I did. I only know that I was falling forward, off balance, and couldn't get my feet under me to stand up. The kitchen counter was zooming quickly toward my face, so I put my hand out... and ouch. I happened to be right next to the refrigerator when this happened, so I grabbed the ice wrap out of the freezer and ran down the stairs to where Matt was typing away at the computer. I couldn't get the ice pack in it's little comfort sleeve, so between curses I asked for his help and then paced the basement in a rather manic way. I felt that if I stopped moving (or cursing), my arm would hurt more. I think Matt thought I had suddenly lost my mind.

It was late, and since I could wiggle my fingers and there was no swelling (thank you ice) I did not believe that I had broken anything. I didn't want to wake up the kids to tell them that we were going to the hospital, either. So I told Matt that if it was still bad in the morning, he could take me in for an x-ray then.

After a night of no sleep, I thought it would be a pretty good idea to get an x-ray. We are about halfway between two hospitals, and we went to Montgomery General because it was opposite rush hour traffic. Matt dropped me off at the emergency room entrance and went to park the car. The nurse at the desk asked what was wrong, and I told her that I had hurt my wrist & needed an x-ray.

There was another nurse standing at the desk, just shooting the breeze with the admitting nurse. She pipes up, "OH, my daughter fell and broke her wrist, and it was just AWFUL! She had to have SURGERY, and SCREWS put in, and it took her MONTHS to get better!" I thought, "gee, what a nice welcome committee," and said out loud, "I don't think it's broken... I'm just playing it safe." And thanks for scaring the crap out of me.

The emergency room doctor was great. She told me, after pressing here and there, that she thought I broke my radius and my schaphoid (thumb) bone. The schaphoid break is difficult to see on x-rays, so she planned on having the radiologist take a good close up. When the x-rays finally came back, she showed them to me on the computer. "Look," she said. "In these 3 x-rays, you can't see the break. But in THIS one..." and there were the break lines. Not all the way through, thank goodness, but fractures.

The nurse handed me some pills to take (I had to ask what they were -- advil) and told me that if I went to Potomac Valley orthopedists, then I wouldn't need to pick up my x-rays from radiology because the Potomac people could just get them on their computers. So Matt took me home. CVS said my prescription would take 2 hours (UGH!). I called Potomac Valley to make the appointment for the next day. "Do you have your x-rays?" they asked. I explained what the nurse said. "We can't get the x-rays over the computer," was the response.

So back I went to the hospital. Did I mention that they are doing construction there? No parking anywhere. I drove around and around the parking lot for 15 minutes before I finally found a spot. Went to radiology, gave my name, signed for the x-rays, and left. CVS finally had my prescription (pain meds) but I couldn't take them because I still had to go out to pick up Dominic from after care at his school.

When it was time to get him, I thought I'd better put that x-ray in my purse so I wouldn't forget it in the morning. I look closely at the CD -- and the name on it was not mine. *sigh* They gave me the wrong x-ray. Some lady's lungs. I called Montgomery General, and they apologized. They told me my x-rays would be waiting at the front desk.

So back I go to to the hospital for the 3rd time that day, kids in tow. I pull into the driveway (wasn't about to drive around looking for parking) and hop out, because my x-rays are supposed to be sitting there for me at the front desk. No... they are not. They send me back to radiology again.

At radiology, I hand over the wrong x-rays and ask for mine. The lady behind the counter starts yelling at me. "Who gave you these x-rays? I was looking for these, I had to make a new set! Did YOU sign for these?" On and on. LADY. I have not slept all night and I have a broken wrist. GIVE ME MY X-RAY.

I finally sign for the correct x-ray and go home. Take my meds and go to bed. The next day I go to Potomac Valley to see the orthopedist. They pop the x-ray CD into the machine and... there is only 1 x-ray on it. Not the one where you can see the breaks. I explained what the ER doctor told me, so they took some more x-rays. They did not do a close up, and they didn't get the angle right... so they did not see the breaks! Oh, and did I mention -- my wrist is not swollen AT ALL. The orthopedist is looking at me like I'm crazy. I told him I had the report from the hospital, but he says, "Oh no, I'LL call over there myself."

After a while he returns and says that based on the hospital's report, AND my pain, they are going to cast me. See you in 6 weeks. Gee, thanks.

On Thursday, after they took off the cast, this same doctor breezed into the office, checked my x-ray, pressed quickly on my wrist, and declared everything to be just great. He said I could go back to full activity. I told him that I do yoga, and that I put full weight on my hands for full arm balance. "No problem," he said. Just stretch it back and forth." He waggled his hand a bit. "It will feel funny at first." He spent about 2 minutes total in the room with me and then was on his way. They gave me a splint to wear, but I had to ask them how long I would be wearing it, if I had to wear it at night, etc.

Luckily, my friend Marci's husband is a hand therapist, and he heard the story and made time to see me on Friday. He gave me exercises to do to get my range of motion back. He recommended that I don't put full weight on my hand until 10 weeks after the injury, and recommended therapy to help with the stiffness and pain.

All I can say is, WTF, Potomac Valley? Also, if I ever slip and fall on the ice in front of Montgomery General hospital, and find that I need an x-ray, I'm going to get in a cab and have them drive me over to Holy Cross. I think that will be much safer.

Cabin Fever

2010-02-11T13:34:00.003-05:00

I don't know how people who live in cold climates get along. One week of this snowdiculousness and I'm ready to climb the walls! It doesn't help that I still have a cast on my arm that needs to stay dry, and doesn't make shoveling easy.

Of course, people who live in cold climates have the resources available to deal with this much snow, and most likely would have had their road plowed by now. Or they would have just gotten into their 4 wheel drive vehicle and gone out. Not the case in Maryland.

So we've played Scrabble and Bananagrams and video games. We've emailed and facebooked and tweeted, taken pictures, payed bills, cooked cooked cooked, and laundry laundry laundry. The house is vacuumed and dusted (to an extent), but somehow, the kids' rooms remain a mess. Daniel had a cold and high blood sugar readings, but that subsided after a few days. Nora and Dominic take turns either playing nicely or screaming at each other loud enough to be heard by their cousin in California. We're all antsy.

I do have something to show for a house-bound week -- a couple of excellent gluten free recipes. Roll-out cookies and brownies. They are seriously the best gluten free brownies ever. They are so good, I think I might have to market them. And as fearful as I am of taking great leaps, that's saying something. I have no idea how to follow that path, but am encouraged to take the first steps.

After my road is plowed, that is. Until then, we will eat all the brownies ourselves.

Snowmageddon

2010-02-05T19:43:00.003-05:00

The storm has been dubbed Snowmageddon, for threatening multiple feet and its windy, blizzardy nature. But no worries. Snowmageddon all you want! There's chicken stew already made, sitting in the fridge. The diabetes supplies are all stocked up, and I even fought my way through the grocery store yesterday for some and delicious Florida strawberries (but actually to pick up some washing machine soap). Matt's home, too -- yay!! He picked up some red wine just before the heavy snow started falling. The neighbors are already checking in for play dates & get togethers. Life is good.

The powers that be let us off at noon today, but there were so few kids in the class that it was an easy day. Maybe we'll even be off on Monday, my busy day, for a complete bonus.

In Maryland we don't get the February break that school systems in New England get, and it always seems like a looooooong stretch from winter break to spring. Hard to stay focused, short days making for short tempers, and it feels like the school year has gone on for 10 months already. As my friend Leah says, every February she says she's quitting. (I'm sure the students have the same sentiment!)

But this year mother nature has given us a reprieve. Break out the board games and pour the cocoa (or the wine). Thank you, snow. I really needed you.

A few lines from Billy Collins' "Shoveling Snow with Buddha"

But here we are, working our way down the driveway,
one shovelful at a time.
We toss the light powder into the clear air.
We feel the cold mist on our faces.
And with every heave we disappear
and become lost to each other
in these sudden clouds of our own making,
these fountain-bursts of snow.

This is so much better than a sermon in church,
I say out loud, but Buddha keeps on shoveling.
This is the true religion, the religion of snow,
and sunlight and winter geese barking in the sky,
I say, but he is too busy to hear me.

He has thrown himself into shoveling snow
as if it were the purpose of existence,
as if the sign of a perfect life were a clear driveway
you could back the car down easily
and drive off into the vanities of the world
with a broken heater fan and a song on the radio.

Endo craziness

2010-01-12T19:12:00.002-05:00

What do you do when you just can't get in to see the endocrinologist? Daniel is supposed to have an appointment every three months to check his A1c, go over his blood sugar history, and have a quick check up. I usually make the appointment three months in advance -- at the end of whatever appointment we're at. But we had a major FAIL this time. My husband took Daniel to his appointment in November. I didn't tell him to make a new appointment before he left. So here it is, 2 months later, and I started thinking hmmm. When is Daniel seeing the endo next? Yikes!

The next available opening is in May. MAY! I took it, of course.

Since Daniel was diagnosed, we've only had experience with the endocrinology department at Children's Hospital. I love the staff, the nurses, and especially Daniel's endocronologist. But it is so hard to get an appointment there! It seems like you have to have an emergency to be seen sometimes! At some point in the not to distant future, Daniel will grow out of the Children's system. I don't know at what age they no longer consider him to be a "child." I wonder where we'll go, and whether we'll have to wait 3 - 5 months to get an appointment.

GF Goodness in Stamford, CT

2010-01-09T21:25:00.003-05:00

A couple of weeks ago when we took a drive up to visit my in laws in Connecticut, we stopped in Stamford to take my husband's aunt out for lunch. I Googled around looking for a place with a gluten free menu, and found a place listed right in Stamford where we were stopping. It is called Frascati's, and it is at 581 Newfield Avenue.

Frascati's is a small, Italian restaurant with a great GF menu. Daniel ordered a pizza (they use the Still Riding pizza crust, which we also can get here at restaurants in MD). But they had more than just pizza. They had a full GF menu with GF pastas, appetizers, and a warm delicious GF brownie for dessert. Daniel split a calamari in tomato sauce appetizer with my husband. We found out later that, even though it is not on the menu, we could have requested gluten free fried calamari, and the chef would have prepared it. Daniel hasn't had that since being diagnosed, and I think we might make the trek up to Stamford again just for that!

It is just so nice to go to a restaurant where we don't have to worry, and where everyone in the family can find something they can eat. Thanks, Frascati's, for making it easy and delicious.

At last!!!

2010-01-06T18:46:00.003-05:00

Daniel got his braces off today. Phew! Poor kid has had an appliance of one sort or another in his mouth for the past nine years -- longer than he's been alive! Of course, he still has to wear retainers, but still -- what a relief. At least those can come off!

I told Daniel my retainer story. I had mine in junior high. I took it out to eat, and put it on a napkin on my tray. When lunch was over, I forgot about the retainer, and dumped it into the trash everything else. A class period or so later, I got that "UH OH" feeling... and not too long after that I was digging through enormous trash cans looking for my retainer. I found it. I boiled it...

Today when I was at work, I saw another teacher walking in front of me. She had pump tubing coiling out of her back pocket and then going under her clothes. The coils were sticking out quite a bit, so I tapped her on the arm as I was walking by and said, "hey, your tubing is sticking out." She said thanks, and tucked it in. I walked back to my classroom, sat down, and thought, wait... maybe that wasn't the right thing to do! It's something I do automatically when I see Daniel's spilling out of his clothes, because he tends to catch it on door knobs or drawer handles. He's ripped a couple of sites out that way, ouch! Anyway, I'm his mom! But until the moment this afternoon when I saw the other teacher's tubing, I didn't even know she was diabetic. Should I have said anything?

Speaking of pumping, Daniel has really taken over his diabetes management over this past 6 months or so. I used to tell him when it was a site change day. Now he tells me. He mostly does that himself as well, unless he's inserting into a place that's difficult for him to reach. I wonder how diabetics who live on their own reach the back of their arms, or other difficult spots, for that matter. I'm sure some have partners, roommates, moms, or other friends who help them out with the "ka-chunker" (as we call it) to insert the infusion set. But what if you live on your own? Daniel can twist around and get his hips pretty well, although he has to look in a mirror. The arms are practically impossible for him.

In any case, it's been wonderful for Daniel to take charge of his care. It makes me feel better about the looming college separation. Now if he would only take on gluten free cooking...

I guess I'll search youtube for how to self administer infusion sets in difficult places -- you can find almost anything on that site.

Keep smiling!!

cooooookie

2009-12-21T14:31:00.004-05:00

Last year's gluten-free roll-out sugar cookies were, well... okay. Not fabulous. I found a recipe that made me happy because it rolled out so easily, yay! But the taste wasn't great. They were made with oil rather than butter, and I blame the oil.

I looked around on the internet for gf roll out cookie recipes, and found a few that looked good. I always look to Gluten Free Gobsmacked, Gluten Free Girl, Living Without Magazine, and a few others. GF Girl and Living Without had a similar recipe, so I gave one or the other of them a try. I can't remember which is which now. The dough is sitting in the fridge right now. It seems a bit too loose to roll out, though. *sigh*

The gluten-filled cookie baking has also started. The pistachio biscotti are cooling on the rack right now, and the dough for the gluten roll out cookies is also cooling. It is quite firm, and will roll out very well. I'll also be making almond biscotti, date balls (we call them Christmas crack, they are so addictive!), and perhaps some gingerbread, if there is time. I also found out that the Italian pignoli cookies, which are soooo yummy, are gluten free! Almond paste, sugar, confectioner's sugar, egg whites, pine nuts. I'd like to make those, too. Like most GF cookies, I think the shelf life is pretty short for these. I wonder if they freeze well...

The roads were clear enough today to get out of the house, and the snow plow cleared our road last night, so I was able to get out to the store. I stopped at Trader Joe's to pick up pistachios and pine nuts, flour and other goodies. They were cooking a baked bread pudding made out of their panettone bread. They added milk, eggs, cinnamon, sugar, vanilla... oh, it was yummy! They were also walking around handing out samples of their fruit filled chocolate truffles. I tried the pomegranite. MMMM.

Then, of course, I had to go to the "regular" grocery store to pick up supplies that were not available at Trader Joes -- gushers, which are Daniel's sugar of choice when his blood sugar goes low, cream cheese, and some spices. And in a few minutes I will go to YET ANOTHER grocery store -- the organic place -- where I can get more xanthan gum and some GF supplies. Wow, it would be so nice to have one store that sold all that stuff!

Okay, time to get the boots back on...

In a few minutes I have to go to the

Hello?

2009-12-18T12:59:00.003-05:00

The first phone problem was weather-related. Or so we thought, because what happened was, every time it rained, we got a horrible buzz sound on our phone line. So we called Verizon and told them the problem, and invariably they would come and check it out on a nice, sunny day, and there would be no problem with the line. Hmph.

Finally it happened that the repairman arrived on a rainy day (after much complaining to Verizon). He said yes, there is a problem! He checked the box outside the house, then took his long ladder off of his truck, and climbed the telephone pole across the street. Then he left for a while. His truck was gone for about an hour, but the ladder was still up against the pole (with an orange cone next to it for safety). He came back climbed up the pole, changed something, and then came to the door and asked me to check the line. Yay! The buzz was gone! I thanked him.

The next day, the fax noises started. We had no problem calling out. But when the phone rang and we picked up, it sounded like someone was trying to fax us. I thought whoever was doing it would finally figure out that we are not waiting on a fax.

But then, my husband was out, and he called home. And his phone call produced the fax tone. He asked me if our fax machine was plugged in. I double checked it -- and NO, the machine was not plugged into the wall at all! Not the electricity plug, not the phone line -- NOTHING. After a couple of days we figured out that if we grabbed the phone on the first ring, we wouldn't hear the fax tone. If we let it ring more than once, the fax tone would scream during the phone call. We could hear the caller, and they could hear us -- only in between the fax screeches.

So, of course, we called Verizon again. They let us know that their repair schedule was very busy, but they could get to us within about 10 days. But wait, we said, this was caused by the person who just repaired the line! Can you come back?

back and forth and back and forth with supervisor

Okay, we'll make it a week. Ugh. So for the past week we've been diving for the phone to catch it on the first ring.

Yesterday it was supposed to be fixed. My daughter got an automated message on our answering machine from Verizon saying the problem was fixed.... followed by a screeching fax tone. So I called Verizon and explained that the problem was not fixed. The gentleman on the phone told me that the case was closed, so they had to open a new case, and someone could come by... well, they are very busy.... January 6th or 7th.

NO! Then I went round and round with the guy about how the case is not closed, it is NOT fixed, they have to come back and do what they were supposed to do THAT DAY. Nothing helped. Fine. I hung up in disgust.

Luckily my husband had the name of the supervisor he had spoken to originally, who had scheduled the repair for yesterday. They scheduled someone to arrive today. Between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. Very convenient.

Is it time to drop the home phone? Is there anyone out there who no longer has a land line, and just uses cell service? I'm wondering if it is something we should do....

Talking to the Universe

2009-12-13T21:21:00.002-05:00

I teach a wonderful 6th grade class at our UU church. It's the "Growing Up Year," where we visit different houses of worship and learn about many religions, including our own. I think it is a way not only to build tolerance of others by finding common ground and dispelling mysteries, it is also a way to pin down and put into words what it is that we believe. Quite an accomplishment for 11-12 year old kids.

Today we did a follow up class to several different field trips, and we had the kids write down what beliefs they remembered from their visits. We put signs up on the wall -- Totally, firmly agree; agree; unsure corner; hm... disagree; and totally, firmly disagree. Then we read the beliefs out loud, and we all had to move around the room to stand under the sign that matches our feeling about a belief.

Sometimes the wording of these beliefs can change where I stand. There's "I believe that prayer works," versus "Meditation gives me peace of mind." Is there a difference between prayer and meditation? One seems to be TO a deity, while the other is turned inward. However, if you believe that god, or a holy spirit, or the great life force is within all of us, then meditation can be considered prayer TO the deity within. These are some of the tricky questions the 6th graders wrestle with -- as do I.

I tend to ask the universe for a lot. It's kind of like throwing spaghetti up on the wall -- at some point something will stick. I don't know what's out there in the universe, but perhaps something holy is listening. (Not last week, though. We didn't get that snow day). And yet, when I'm talking to the "universe," I feel like I'm actually sinking deep inside of myself. That's more like a description of meditation.

There's also that whole "Jonathan Livingston Seagull" way of prayer/meditation. If you want something in your life, imagine it is already there. So I spend lots of time imagining (in a background sort of way, while I'm getting on with daily life) that diabetes has been cured. That scientists have found the key to autoimmune diseases. That life got a little easier. It calms me down. Is it "working?" I don't know. Maybe it will, but I won't know in my lifetime. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to see this part of my imagination come to life. Then I'll *really* have a great lesson to bring to class! How I'd love to stand under that "Firmly, Totally Agree" sign when it comes to the power of prayer!

These kids I teach -- they are wonderful. So expressive, full of wonder, and so very intelligent. They made me think about all this STUFF (as they say) today, as they do each week. So today, in addition to asking the universe for so many things, I'd like to thank it for sending me this particular group of wonderful kids. Thanks for my co-teacher, who makes me laugh. Thanks for this wonderful UU community, which feels like home.

The Mad Rush

2009-11-29T21:15:00.003-05:00

It's hard to believe that December is knocking on the door. This year has gone by so fast! There are times I get caught up in life's stresses, and then I stop for a moment and see how quickly everything is passing. It's tough to live in the moment, but so necessary for the soul. This wild and precious thing that we have -- it's fleeting. It's wonderful.

I was very thankful this Thanksgiving for the love and closeness of family and friends. For people to share our food and our company. Yes, I was cooking like crazy, but was also able to sit back and enjoy the people around me, which was the spiritual renewal I needed.

Diabetes sat quietly in the background, thank goodness. It was tough to figure out all the carbs, especially when teenage boy-ness takes over in the presence of all that good food! Daniel's numbers stayed excellent all through the meal -- between 70 and 90 -- but were on the high side the next morning. All that high fat stuff kicking in, I suppose. We still haven't figured out that dual wave timing for high fat foods. I guess this will take years of practice!

Ah well, on to another week, and the crazy, jam-packed days of December. Speaking of high fat, it's time to gather the ingredients for cookies, toffee, and biscotti. Can I have a few more of these 5 day weekends?

Gluten Free Turkey Gravy for Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T12:59:00.003-05:00

The day before Thanksgiving is my major cooking day. I like to get a lot of things out of the way the day before so that Thanksgiving day is low key -- baste the turkey, cook some veggies, heat the rolls, stir up the gravy, and say thanks.

I made my gravy base the other day, and it is waiting for the drippings from the cooked turkey. Here is how you make it:

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
4 large onions, thinly sliced (I use sweet onions)
1 1/2 tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary
1 1/2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme
1 1/2 tablespoons corn starch
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
3 tablespoons honey

Melt the butter in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the sliced onions and saute until deep brown, about 40 minutes. Stir occasionally so they don't stick. You are slowly carmelizing the onions. Add the rosemary and thyme, then the cornstarch, and stir for 1 minute. Add the vinegar and honey, simmer about 2 minutes. It will seem gloppy and smell quite sharply of the vinegar, but this is all good. I puree this mixture with an immersion blender, let it cool, and then put it in the fridge until Thanksgiving day.

Cook your turkey the way you usually do... I run my fingers between the skin & breast of the turkey and stuff some fresh herbs in there -- rosemary, basil, thyme -- whatever I have on hand. I still have parsley growing happily in the garden right now, so I'm going to put that in this year.

When you cook your turkey, baste it with chicken stock. I do 3/4 to 1 cup broth every 30 minutes or so. When the turkey is done cooking, strain the liquid into a large, heat proof measuring cup. Spoon the fat off the top. Take your refrigerated gravy base and heat it in a large saucepan. Whisk in 3 tablespoons cornstarch or arrowroot starch, then 8 cups of juices from the turkey. Boil until the gravy is reduced to about 7 cups, stirring occasionally, for about 10 minutes. Season, if necessary, with salt and pepper.

This is the most delicious turkey gravy recipe I've ever had.

Shopping, stuffing, Thanksgiving, gluten free!

2009-11-21T14:06:00.004-05:00

I'm almost done shopping for this year's version of gluten-free thanksgiving. On the menu: turkey, cranberry sauce with oranges & red wine, wild rice & apricot stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, spinach, pumpkin pie, and chocolate cream pie. My mom is bringing the sweet potatoes.

I've only really made two major changes to the thanksgiving menu since making it gluten free. I don't do a bread stuffing anymore, and I had to de-gluten the pie crust recipe. I *could* do a bread stuffing with gluten-free bread. I really love the corn bread recipe in the Nearly Normal cookbook, and would happily make that into stuffing for the bird. Perhaps I will next year. But last year I tried out the recipe for the wild rice & apricot stuffing, and liked it so much that I want to repeat it. Here's how it goes:

In a large heavy saucepan, melt 4 tablespoons of butter. Add and cook for 3 - 5 minutes: 2 finely chopped onions, 2 stalks finely chopped celery, 5 cloves of minced garlic. When those ingredients have stirred around and gotten to know each other, add 16 ounces sliced fresh mushrooms and some chestnuts. How many chestnuts? I guess that depends on how much you like them. For years I got fresh chestnuts, roasted them, and wrestled the darned things out of their shells, cutting up my fingers in the process. Last year I bought a jar of peeled chestnuts. It was pricey, but it was my present to myself. I just did the same today, and my fingertips are already thanking me.

Anyway... stir all this stuff around for a few minutes, then add 2 1/2 cups chicken stock, and 2/3 cup orange juice. Bring to a boil. Stir in 2 cups long grain brown rice, 3/4 cup wild rice, and a teaspoon each of sage and thyme. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer 35 minutes. Stir in 1 cup of chopped dried apricots and 1/4 cup craisins. Simmer, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes more or until rice is tender. Add 3/4 cup pine nuts, slivered, toasted almonds, or pecan pieces, 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley, and a teaspoon of salt (to taste) and pepper (to taste).

You have to let this mixture cool completely before stuffing your turkey. When you baste the turkey while it is cooking, the juices flow through the wild rice stuffing, harmonizing all the flavors into happy eating for your family.

I make a carmelized onion gravy base for the turkey, and the great thing is that it can be made ahead of time. I'm off to do that now, along with other obligations, and have to stop typing. I will try to write about that later this weekend!

It's all about the numbers. And the grades.

2009-11-19T21:38:00.004-05:00

The good news was that Daniel's A1c came down to 7.2, which means we're getting the hang of this pumping thing (after a year). The bad news was that we finally had one of those scares that the diabetes nurse warned us about -- high blood sugars plus ketones -- that comes from a pump mistake. Daniel woke up about 2 a.m. the other night with all the classic symptoms: a pounding headache, dry mouth, gotta pee, etc. His bg was about 470, and of course, he felt like crap. The pee stick showed large ketones. My husband had gotten up with him, and then woke me to check in and see if we should go to the ER.

I checked the good old diabetes manual for instructions. I think the people at Children's National Medical Center in DC give great take-home instructions for all their diabetes-related stuff. It is easy to follow, even at 2 a.m., and helped us get through the night without an ER trip.

There's really nothing you can do but keep checking blood sugar readings. Every 15 - 20 minutes, each time we checked, they were going down. I finally sent Daniel back to bed at 4 a.m. with a bg of 280, and told him I would wake him at 5:30 to check again. At that point he was back to normal.

Other than that blip, his numbers have been really great for some time now. Hope I'm not jinxing myself. But I'm happy with the insulin pump therapy. Now let's find a cure for this stinkin' disease!!!

On a totally unrelated subject, I started writing this blog tonight because I was mad, and I had to calm myself down. Writing about diabetes was a good distraction, and I think I'm pretty calm now. My youngest son Dominic takes Tae Kwon Do, and is a blue belt. He's taken classes at the same studio for several years now. Lately the studio has instituted a report card system. After every class, the child presents his report card for a grade on how he did in class.

Dominic recently wanted to quit Tae Kwon Do. It's in the evening, and he's been pretty tired, but we encouraged him to persevere. However, tonight I wanted to yank him out of that place. After he decided to NOT quit, he started giving his all. However, he is an 8 year old boy, and is subject to some moments of inattention. Tonight was NOT one of those nights. They were practicing their forms over and over. I noticed that at one point in the form, he kept turning the wrong direction. There were 2 teachers in the room, and 9 or 10 kids. One of the teachers went over the fact that some people were turning the wrong direction, but Dominic didn't get it. No one went up to him and corrected his form.

The teachers asked questions about what certain terms meant, and why you lifted your heel off the ground at one point, etc. etc. Dominic raised his hand and was called on a couple of times. He got the answers correct.

Then the teachers separated the blue belts from the rest of the class to do push ups, sit ups, and squats. There were 4 blue belts, including Dominic. One of them was asked to lead the push ups, and he kept fooling around, and they had to restart the push up count a couple of times. Then the teacher asked the kids to move to a different side of the room. Dominic did so by rolling across the floor. The teacher said to him, "Dominic!" That's all. Another kid crab-walked. The teacher said, "Can't you guys just walk?" Then they did their sit ups, and sat waiting for the other group to finish. They were talking to each other, but quietly. I motioned to Dominic to come talk to me, and I told him that when he was doing his form, he turned in the wrong direction at step three, and I was concerned that he would get that wrong when it came to testing time. He said, "Oh, okay!" And went back to sit and wait.

Then all the kids were called back to do their forms again. This time, Dominic turned in the correct direction.

It was almost the end of class. The owner of the studio came out and called out two of the kids -- the one who was messing around when he was supposed to do the push up count, and Dominic, telling them that they had to stop interrupting the class, pay attention, and quit fooling around. Dominic turned and looked at me with that WTF???? look -- because he had not done anything to cause problems! He was told that his testing paperwork was being held until he could learn to control himself. When it came time to get his report card, they gave him a C for the night.

In all the years he's been taking classes, when he would get the wiggles, or mess around in class, Dominic would get a lecture from me afterwards. I let him know that he needed to respect his teachers, to pay attention in class, and to do his best if he wanted to succeed. Tonight I saw that his form was solid, that he put energy into his punches and kicks. He didn't do a half-assed job, he was focused.

So I followed the teacher to the back room and asked why Dominic got a C. He said, "because he rolled across the floor." I told the teacher that I noticed that Dominic had worked hard all evening. He knew answers to the questions, his form has really improved. Did he not see that? The teacher said, "he rolled across the floor." Well I guess that negates everything else he did in the class. I told him that I respectfully disagreed with his opinion, and that one roll shouldn't take away from all his hard work. Mind you, this is the teacher who is the son of the studio's business manager. I have noticed, for a long time, that he has less patience with the kids than all the other teachers, and does not teach the forms, or kicks, or punches in a clear manner. Blah.

Then I went to the head of the studio, who basically agreed that Dominic has improved. But that he has to stop interrupting the class, and improve some more. That he understand that with his asthma that he can't always perform, but he can try to improve.

Okay -- my eyes were about to pop out of my head. Dominic does not have asthma. Who the hell was he talking about? I sit through all of these classes. Dominic does not interrupt the class. Again, who the hell was he talking about? I looked the head master in the eye when he said we all can improve, and said, "Yes, everyone can improve. EVERYONE." Including you, you idiot. And then he went on and on about kids in the after school program not working so hard, versus kids in the evening program really pushing themselves, and nothing he said made much sense. My kid IS in the evening program! He has been working his butt off. And he doesn't have asthma! It was weird, like he was talking about somebody else!

When we left the studio, I told Dominic how proud I was of his achievements. I told him that they didn't see his effort, but that I did, and that he shouldn't hang his head. I will not send him back to a place where they put him down in front of the whole class without justification. Yeah, that's a great way to get kids to want to achieve. The good old "make them feel like shit" method. And I'm paying for this? Not anymore.

Soup's On!

2009-11-04T11:25:00.002-05:00

The weather is getting cool, the leaves are falling... it's soup time! We've started enjoying this comfort food with come gluten free cornbread or a salad on the side. Make's a great meal! I just made a sausage lentil soup, but this soup can easily be made without meat for my vegetarian friends.

Sausage Lentil Soup

1 pound mild sausage (I used mild Italian, but any will do)
1 cup brown lentils, picked over & rinsed
1 cup red lentils, picked over & rinsed
8 cups chicken stock
2 large carrots, diced
1 large onion, diced
1 couple of ribs of celery, diced
2 T olive oil
2 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 T cumin
2 tsp garlic powder
1 28-oz can diced tomatoes
1 cup red wine
2 T red wine vinegar
2 T lemon juice
2 T brown sugar

In a large pot or dutch oven, crumble the sausage and saute until brown in 1 T of the olive oil. Remove from pot and set aside. Add another tbsp. of oil, and saute the onion, carrots, celery, and salt until the onion is transparent. Add the lentils, chicken stock, pepper, cumin, garlic, and the cooked sausage, and bring to a boil. Simmer, cover, and cook for 1/2 hour. Add the diced tomatoes, wine, vinegar, lemon juice, and sugar. Simmer for another 15 minutes, or until lentils are tender, stirring occasionally.

When I serve this, I will often put a dollop of sour cream or tsasiki or plain yogurt on top. YUM!

What's in Retrograde?

2009-10-31T18:52:00.006-04:00

This morning I was talking to a kid from my son's enrichment activity class, who was saying how he was so scared of Friday the 13th because it is so unlucky! I told him not to let the movies or magazines convince him that one day is more unlucky than another -- it's just a day. He didn't believe me. And while I really don't think one day is any luckier or unluckier than another, I have had the feeling in the past couple of weeks that I've been out of synch with the dance of the universe. Either that, or it is trying to tell me something. My sister in law says it is trying to tell me that I've got too much on my plate, and that may be true.

Last week on Tuesday, the hard drive on my work computer crashed. I lost everything I had from the beginning of the school year -- my lesson plans, my long range plans, templates, sample documents... you name it. I walked around in a daze for a couple of days, and then, when I got a new laptop, started the process of rebuilding from scratch. At least I got my grades in on time.

Then I found the back up disk I made at the end of the last school year. HOORAY! I put it in the computer. The computer will not recognize the disk. I took it to another computer. Same story. *sigh* Something is wrong with the disk. No computer will read it.

Then, my iPod, which is my calendar, my contact book, my music, my recipes, my encyclopedia, and on and on, was stolen. I already wrote about that. I'm still trying to get on paper all the events I had stored on that thing.

Yesterday, while in the mad rush to get myself & two of my kids to school in the morning, I hear a crash as we are all getting in the car. Nora knocked over a shutter that I had stripped & was getting ready to repaint, and it splintered as it hit the garage floor. *sigh* again. I picked up the pieces and said, don't worry, we'll find another shutter. As I'm getting into the car I hear Nora say, "OH NO!" She knocked over my entire cup of coffeee, glug glug glug, onto the car floor. Okay, that one made me squawk. I ran to get a towel, smooshed it into the rug, and drove away, because I had to get in for morning duty. And as much as I love the smell of coffee... that's not what I needed in the car! I wasn't mad, just... tired of all these crazy things!

Today I was trying to plan ahead for halloween, and as the kids are carving their pumpkins, I started a chicken roasting in the oven so they would have some protein before gorging on candy. About 45 minutes before it was done, I added a bunch of baby potatoes and some chicken stock. Nora watched as I added them, inhaling and saying, "oooh, that smells good!"

CRASH! The pyrex dish holding the chicken exploded into a jagged mess, the stock hit the heating element, and flames roared up from the bottom of the oven. I turned off the oven. The flames went out on their own. Nora turned to me, her eyes wide, and I just shook my head and laughed.
had a friend years ago who was really into horoscope stuff and swore that when mercury was in retrograde you should just hide in the basement for a couple of weeks.
Okay. That's enough. I actually went online to see if mercury was in retrograde, because I

Mercury is not in retrograde, but something is up, something is wonky, something is impishly having a little ha ha ha, and I'd like it to stop now. Please. My husband just came home from his long journey and I don't feel like staying in the basement!

Oh yeah... Happy Halloween!!

Bubbles and Knots

2009-10-28T11:20:00.003-04:00

It's been just about a year since Daniel started on the insulin pump. He's been so happy with the pump and has much better control over his blood sugar than he had using the Novolog/Lantus therapy. Of course there are issues unique to pumping, including bubbles & knots (in the tubing), and the occasional surprise rrrrrrrrip out when tubing catches on something. Daniel had all three of these things occur this week, leading to highs and hair removal (ouch! :-) ) I wonder if anyone else finds that as they get to the end of an insulin bottle, there is more of a tendency for bubbles to show up in the tubing?

Daniel woke up with a 350 bg this morning, and a knot tied in his tube. Maybe he is doing macrame in his sleep. But it's never a fun morning when his blood sugar is so high. I hope it went down in time for him to concentrate on today's tests.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the next A1C check in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, we'll keep on pumping...

Catch Up

2009-10-27T19:40:00.003-04:00

I missed school yesterday because my Dominic missed school yesterday because he was sick. Today his homework was mountainous (for a 3rd grader) and my school work was similarly arduous (as I am still recovering from last week's hard drive crash).

When I'm teaching, and I see a kid who is obviously under the weather, I sigh and wonder why that kid is in school when he or she should be home in bed. And when I'm at home with a sick child I push him along into wellness as soon as possible so that I can get back to work and get things done.

I hate being torn between work and family, or between taking care of illness and taking care of work. How many of us have gone into work feeling crappy because it's too difficult to deal with making up what we would miss if we stayed home? There's no good middle ground.

Gluten Free Bagels

2009-10-26T16:07:00.011-04:00

I saw a recipe for Gluten Free Bagels in the Living Without magazine. Have I said before that I think that's an awful name for a magazine? How about Gluten Free and Fantastic!!! "Living Without" is such a downer. Anyway, I'm home with a sick child today and found myself with some free time, so I gave the bagel recipe a try. They turned out pretty good, and were actually relatively quick and easy to make.

It called for a multi-grain flour blend that was mixed with salt, flax meal, egg replacer, yeast, and xanthan gum. The dry ingredients were mixed with warm water, oil, cider vinegar, and honey.

The mixture, when it came together, was like an extremely sticky dough. But it wasn't too difficult to handle. You let it rise, then boil it (that's what makes it a bagel!) and then bake it.

I also recently found a new cream cheese flavor in the grocery store -- spinach & artichoke -- which was a very happy discovery! Daniel slathered some of that on his bagel... and then on his 2nd bagel... and was a happy teenager.

I don't want to get in trouble with Living Without by reprinting their stuff without permission. If anyone wants the exact recipe, drop me a comment and I'd be happy to send it to you.

Lost!

2009-10-25T17:25:00.004-04:00

Back in the day, when I first started working, people would carry around their fat little appointment books. There were calendars, phone number and address pages, slots for business cards... you know -- the stuff you had to carry around back in the dark ages before someone invented the palm pilot. I worked at a radio station, and I remember one time one of the salespeople lost her book; left it in a cab or something. And she was frantic, she was a mess. It was gone, and had to be totally reconstructed. From memory... ha!

So at least when you lose a pda, there's probably (hopefully?) a back up somewhere of your information. I'll be able to re-synch a new ipod from my computer, when my husband returns from his trip with my computer, and I'll be able to get most of my info back. Except that damned doctor's appointment that I have tomorrow. I wrote down the name of the new doctor, the address, and the phone number in the ipod. I wrote the time of the appointment on the calendar on the wall.

I think I remember the street name, so I'm going to call all the dermatologists on that street tomorrow and see if I have an appointment there at 9:15.

Our lovely electronic devices are supposed to make life easier. Unless they get lost, or their hard drive crashes, or they fall in the toilet, or the dog chews on them. It's not a perfect system for backing up my brain.

Our lovely electronic devices

2009-10-24T20:36:00.003-04:00

Last school year Daniel brought a video game to school because a friend of his wanted to borrow it (a DS game, those tiny little things). Actually, for some unknown reason he brought his whole pack of games instead of the one. The pack of games was in his back pack during bio class, and then when he went to lunch, 20 min. later, they were gone. He thought he dropped them. Checked back through the classroom the hallways, the lunchroom. They were gone.

Our initial reaction was, of course, "WHY DID YOU BRING THOSE TO SCHOOL??" And then we told him that they were probably stolen. Daniel refused to believe that anyone could have stolen his stuff. Well, after days & weeks of looking, hearing some rumors, filing a police report, and setting up a sting, the perpetrator was caught and he replaced all of Daniel's games. It was a tough lesson and I think it hurt Daniel's faith in human nature. He was mad at himself, he was mad at the situation, and ultimately, even the return of his stuff was bittersweet.

Moving on to.... Today! I took my youngest to his Saturday enrichment class, and then went to a parent meeting about the 7 keys for college readiness. Yee ha. I multi-tasked during the meeting, with my laptop open on the table, trying to take care of teaching-related work while listening to the speaker. You see, Tuesday my hard drive crashed. I lost all my info from this school year -- my grades, my templates, my lesson plans... you name it. I just started using delicious.com for bookmarks, so I had a few of those saved, but many others were still just on my bookmark menu.

I taught through Tuesday without really knowing what I was teaching. I couldn't hook my laptop up to the projector to demonstrate a new concept. I had a hard copy of the week's lesson plans, but my brain was in a fog as I tried to puzzle out exactly what I had lost. And it's the end of the quarter! Grades are due!

With what was backed up to the network from the year before, I was able to recreate my grading sheets and lesson plan templates. By Thursday afternoon I had a replacement laptop, but my motivation had taken a severe blow. But my hubby send me a big bouquet of flowers, and I disappeared into some good yoga for a while, and came out of my funk able to let go of what I can't control. Move on. Back to work. Recreate what is lost. Start typing.

So, back to the meeting. I was reminded during the meeting of something I needed to add to my grocery list, so I took my itouch out of my purse and added some things to the never-ending list that I keep. I put the itouch back in my purse and zipped it. I remember this. The meeting ended soon after, so I put my computer away, grabbed my jacket, made a quick stop in the ladies' room, and then headed to the car. I had 50 minutes to get to the grocery store & shop before I had to be back to pick up Dominic.

I got to the grocery store and opened my purse to retrieve my never-ending list. Couldn't find the itouch. Dumped the purse. Nada. Went back to the car. No itouch. Drove back to the high school where the meeting took place. The itouch is not in the media center, the ladies' room, the hallways... no where. No one has turned one in. My itouch is gone.

I picked up Dominic, came home, and asked Daniel to come talk to me. I knew he would understand! I told him how upset I was. He hugged me and said, now you know how I felt when I came home from school that day... and yes I KNEW how he felt; I've lost important things before. But I was mad at myself; why didn't I put the damned thing in my pocket? Why did I lose it? Did it fall out? But I zipped the bag!!! He said, "Mom. It was probably stolen." And I said, "NO! I was in a parent meeting for God's sake!" Daniel just looked at me & shrugged.

I was really hooked on that itouch. My family gave it to me for Mother's Day. I used that cute little electronic device all the time. It organized me, helped me exercise, and was portable entertainment. I'm about to go do some yoga, to try to release this spasm that I'm working myself into. The itouch is just a THING, after all, a lovely electronic device but a thing, none the less. I don't need it. What I need is the love and comfort of my family. I have that. My kids gave me hugs. My sister in law (my wife! :-) ) gave me mental therapy. My husband gave me his sweet words and verbal hugs (see you in less than a week, babe!) My faith in human nature remains.

GF Apple Muffins, GF Brownie bites!

2009-10-03T20:00:00.006-04:00

I want to pass along a couple of recipes that I've made in the past week. The first one is for apple muffins. I had an excess of apples last weekend, and children asking for muffins, so we got out the grater and got to work.

When you are doing gluten free baking, you have to mix different flours together to create something that works like wheat flour. There are lots of recipes out there that call for a mixture of rice, tapioca, and potato flour, or something of the sort, plus some xanthan gum to hold everything together once it is baked. Any gluten free cookbook will give you a couple of different flour mixes, and you can pull some together for a recipe, or mix a big batch and keep it fresh in the freezer for when you need it. OR... you can go to the local health food store and pick up a bag of GF flour. Yes it is expensive. SO much more expensive than regular flour. But I always keep a bag or two handy, just in case I run out of the other stuff. Or if I have to travel. I use Pamela's flour mix, which I buy from Amazon.com. It's much cheaper there. I like it, but I find it can make my baked goods a bit heavy.

I also have a bag of Jules brand "Nearly Normal" flour mix. I also like that, but I find that it can make my baked goods kind of dry. My favorite thing to do, when I'm in a hurry, is to mix the two together. Probably 10 different kinds of flour in there, but what the heck, it tastes good!

So, back to the muffins. Here's what I did:

1 1/4 cup Pamela's flour mix
1/4 cup Jules Nearly Normal flour mix
2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup butter, melted
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1 large apple, grated. I used Jonagold one time and Fuji the other.

Preheat oven to 350. Stir together the flours, cinnamon, baking powder, and salt. Mix together the sugar and butter. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. Add the mixed dry ingredients, alternating with the milk. Stir in the vanilla and the grated apple. Scoop into greased muffin tins, and bake for 18-20 minutes. Take them out and eat them up! They are approx. 20 carbs each.

I found a new recipe for GF brownies in a book by Robert Landolphi, called "Gluten Free Every Day." I found the book while cruising around Amazon, and it had some fun recipes listed that I wanted to try, like Parmesan Popover Bites, Sesame Encrusted Salmon with Tropical Mint Salsa, and more. But... we were out of GF desserts, so brownies came first.

The recipe called for an 8 x 11 pan. I don't have an 8 x 11 pan. I have an 8 x 8, and a 9 x 13, neither of which would work very well. So I had the bright idea to use my mini muffin pan instead, and make "brownie bites," and just keep an eye on the cooking time. HA. Well, they really looked great. But the darned things stuck. Yes, I did grease the pans! But 95% of them stuck to the bottom of the muffin tin, so I ended up taking the tops off, taking a knife around the edge of the rest of the brownie, and then gently reuniting top & bottom with a prayer that they'd stay together. It's a damned good thing they were delicious, after all of that. Next time I try to do brownie bites I'll either put the little papers in, or put less brownie in the tins so they don't pop up like muffin tops.

The cookbook calls for "Authentic Foods Multiblend Gluten Free Flour." I've never seen that particular brand around my stores. So I did my Pamela's/Jules mix again. Here's what I did:

Preheat oven to 350. Butter an 8 x 11 inch pan.

3/4 cups butter
4 oz unsweetened chocolate
2 cups sugar
3 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup Pamela's flour mix
1/2 cup Jules flour mix

This is so easy -- it's all done in one bowl. Put the chocolate and butter in a large microwavable bowl. Microwave on high for 2 minutes. Stir with a wooden spoon, then microwave for 1 minute more. Wait... that's what the book says. My butter was frozen, and I did 2 minutes the 1st time, stirred, then only 40 seconds the 2nd time because everything was almost melted. That's all I needed.

Stir until chocolate is melted & smooth. Stir in the sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Gradually stir in the flour until blended. His recipe calls for optional walnuts which you can add at this point (1 cup), but I'm allergic to walnuts so I left them out.

Pour into prepared pan (or try your luck with mini muffin tins!!!). Bake for 40 to 45 minutes (I only did 18 minutes with the muffin tins) or until a toothpick in the center comes out clean. Cool completely in pan. Cut into bars.

The brownies in the muffin tins ended up being 14 carbs each. That's another reason I like doing the muffin tins -- easy to count carbs that way.

Today has been pretty busy... lots of house chores and lots of cooking. What else is new? I'm going to finish my wine and prepare for tomorrow morning. More apple muffins are on the agenda.

New Insulin Pump

2009-08-12T07:48:00.003-04:00

I saw the news on Diabetes Daily about the new insulin pump coming on the market next year from a company called Medingo. The pump is the Solo, and it is a tubing-free, tiny pump. You can detach from it when you need to. The web site is here.

If you live in the US, the company offers you the option of ordering a free demo kit. I put my order in today, and will let you know how responsive the company is and what we think of the demo.

It looks nice! But we've been fooled by products that look nice before (Pelikan Sun). So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this one.

I thought I would have more time!

2009-08-06T20:12:00.002-04:00

I thought I would have more time to write this summer. I thought I would drop in with a blog post here and there about our travels & adventures. But summer is a greedy monster and it is sucking time away from writing, which makes me sad.

We took a trip in the 2nd half of July across the country, so we had our first experience dealing with major travel & diabetes/celiac. Some great stories, some not so great. I want to write about them, but not all at once. Here are some quick impressions:

1. If you have to fly, and you have celiac, PACK FOOD. There is nothing for you at the airport. There is next to nothing for you on the plane. There's next to nothing for you on the plane even if you don't have celiac! Plan ahead, carry food.

2. The security personnel at the airports seemed to be quite knowledgeable about diabetes stuff and didn't give us any problems. Yay.

3. Stores at Yosemite park have lots of good food. It makes the natural splendor of Yosemite even more enjoyable.

4. It is helpful, if possible, to check local blogs/websites if you are looking for a place to eat that is celiac friendly. We stayed in places where we could do our own cooking, but there were a number of times we had to eat out. Thank goodness for all the bloggers out there!

5. Legoland says on its web site that it has gluten free hamburger buns. But when we got there, they were out of them. :(

Just some quick thoughts. More later, because the dryer just buzzed and I must get back on the laundry treadmill.

Gougeres, or Gluten Free Buns

2009-07-15T17:56:00.009-04:00

I went to my friend Leah's house for lunch yesterday, and she served gougeres, which are cheese puffs made with Pate a Choux dough. Pate a Choux is what you use to make cream puffs. The little puffs were delicious, and I thought they reminded me, in texture, of the gluten free buns made by Against the Grain. Leah gave me the recipe so I could try them with gluten free flour. They turned out delicious! But they were small (Daniel made tiny sandwiches out of them).

I made them a second time today, much larger than the first time, to see how they would compare to the Against the Grain buns. They have a different consistency, and though they were really puffed to start with, they flattened as they cooled. I'll have to figure out how to stop that from happening. They taste good, though!

Here's what I did:

1 cup water
1 tsp salt
3 tsp sugar
6 tablespoons butter, cut in pieces
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour, sifted (I used the "Jules" brand GF flour mix)
4 eggs, beaten
1 cup grated cheese
freshly ground pepper.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. In small saucepan over high heat, bring the water, salt, sugar, and butter to a boil, making sure the butter is completely melted. Off the heat, add the flour all at once and beat vigorously with a wooden spoon. Return to the heat and continue beating until the dough forms a solid, smooth mass and pulls away from the sides of the saucepan. Take off the heat and empty the dough into a clean mixing bowl. Little by little add the beaten eggs (I used a mixer), beating vigorously in between each addition, until the dough forms a smooth, supple mass. Mix in 1 cup grated cheese (the recipe calls for gruyere, but I didn't have that so I used a mix of mozzarella and asiago) and freshly ground black pepper.

The original recipe has you putting the dough into a pastry bag and piping it onto a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet. I didn't have a pastry bag, so I just spooned the dough onto the parchment paper in large rounds and baked for 25 minutes. It made 6 rolls, at 21 carbs each.

The flavor was very good, but here are some changes I'd like to try:

Baking it for a bit longer.
Adding flax seed, or something else for fiber.
Actually using gruyere, which is so yummy.
Using a food processor instead of a mixer to see what that does to the consistency.

If you try this recipe and something works for you, let me know!

Quinoa Salad

2009-07-12T12:41:00.004-04:00

It all started when I came back from vacation and looked at my garden. The weeds were trying to take over, especially the terrible morning glory-ish vines that try to strangle everything. Rising triumphantly over the weeds, however, were my basil and parsley plants, which flourished in my absence. Maybe I should go away some more? In addition, Matt had gone to the farmer's market and picked up some luscious, weighty, ripe tomatoes. As lunchtime approached, I thought about quinoa salad.

Quinoa is a fabulous grain, and great for people with celiac because it is gluten free and for diabetics because the protein in the grain keeps it from spiking your blood sugar. Quinoa is a complete protein with lots of fiber. It is okay on its own, but I like to dress it up a little. Here's what I did:

1 cup red quinoa (I found this at my local health food store).
1 1/4 cup water
1 large, weighty, luscious, ripe tomato, diced
1/2 raw zucchini, diced
1/4 cup craisins
1 loose cup parsley
1/2 loose cup basil
juice of 1/2 juicy lemon
3 T balsamic vinegar
3 T olive oil
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup crumbed feta cheese

Boil the water in a medium sized pot. Pour in the quinoa and cover; simmer for 15 minutes. Turn off heat, wait 5 minutes, then fluff & cool quinoa.

Put diced tomatoes, zucchini, and the craisins in a bowl. Finely chop the basil & parsley and put it into the tomato mizture. Toss in the cooled quinoa, and then toss in the lemon juice, vinegar, oil, and salt. Top with the feta cheese and serve.

This is a delicious power lunch, perfect for hot days!

Gluten Free Ice Cream Sandwiches

2009-06-26T19:40:00.008-04:00

One thing Daniel really missed since going gluten free was ice cream sandwiches. There are plenty of gluten free foods available, but no one has put these on the market yet. So here we are, summer time again, and I thought I'd research making these guys from scratch. I found a recipe on Gluten Free Gobsmacked that looked so easy, and I gave it a try today. I also took her advice and bought some ice cream sandwich makers from Amazon.com. I got standard rectan gular ones, and fun shaped ones as well.

The recipe is simple:

Cookie ingredients:
7 tablespoons butter, melted
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powdered (or dark chocolate cocoa powder)
2/3 cup sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 eggs
3/4 cup gluten free flour mix (rice or bean based)
OR – in place of the GF flour mix use:
1/2 cup rice flour + 1/4 cup tapioca starch

I used the "Nearly Normal" brand of flour mix because that's what I had on hand, and it turned out fine. Nearly Normal has xanthan gum in it. I hoped that would be okay, because the recipe doesn't call for it, but it was no problem.

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350F.
Line a large cookie sheet or jelly roll pan with parchment paper. Butter the parchment or spritz with oil.
Whisk melted butter and cocoa powder together until smooth.
Add sugar and beat until smooth.
Add vanilla and eggs. Beat again until smooth.
Add gf flour (or flour/starch) and beat together for 2 minutes. Mixture will be like thick brownie dough but should not have any lumps.
Using a spatula dipped in water, spread the cookie batter into a large rectangle (about 12″ by 10″ or larger). If the dough sticks to the spatula, dip the spatula into cool water and continue spreading. Try *not* to get the dough “wet” or have standing water on top. The original recipe says to spread it to a 1/2 inch thickness. Mine wasn't that thick, but it was thicker than normal ice cream sandwich cookies. I might try to do it a bit thinner next time on a larger cookie sheet.
Bake the cookie at 350F for 15 – 18 minutes or until firm/set but not crusty on top. (It will harden as it cools.)

Now you have to either cut the cookie into smaller cookies, or follow the directions on the ice cream sandwich maker. You just stamp the cookies out with the ice cream sandwich maker, and wait until they are cool. Then put one cookie in the bottom of the form, fill with your favorite gluten free ice cream, put another cookie on top, and press.

I bought ice cream that was already in a rectangular shape to help with this process, but really, any kind will do if it is softened a little. Then the hard part is waiting for it to freeze up again nicely before eating! We didn't do that tonight. We just dove right in, so the ice cream was squishy. The kids had vanilla ice cream in theirs. I took the scraps that were left over and made a small ice cream sandwich with mint chocolate chip. YUM!

Based on the recipe plus 1/2 cup ice cream, The rectangular ice cream sandwich had 66 carbs.

Blueberry time!

2009-06-21T21:43:00.013-04:00

Blueberries were on sale this week, and in our house that is cause for joy! We all love blueberries -- straight off the bush, tossed into salads, stirred into yogurt, or baked into many wonderful treats. I decided to make a blueberry pie for Father's Day.

I've made gluten free pies before, but haven't really had much success with the crusts. They were okay, but not great. I found the dough very difficult to work with, and the crusts have come out heavy and hard. They broke too easily. But, what the heck, try try again.

I looked at a few recipes and decided to make a couple of changes. This time, the crust was fantastic. Here's what I did:

I whisked together in a bowl:
2/3 cup sorghum flour
2/3 cup potato starch
2/3 cup tapioca starch
3 Tablespoons corn starch
1 tsp. xanthan gum
4 tsp sugar
1 tsp. baking powder

Then I used a pastry cutter to cut in 1/2 cup butter and 1/3 cup shortening until the mixture was crumbly.

Then I whisked together 2 eggs and 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar. I dumped this into the flour mixture, and stirred it with my hands until it held together. It was a little bit sticky, so I added about a tablespoon of sweet rice flour, which I had on hand because I was going to use that when I rolled out the dough. I divided the dough into 2 pieces, wrapped them in plastic wrap, and refrigerated them for a couple of hours.

For the pie filling, I mixed 3 pints of blueberries, 2 tablespoons lemon juice, 1/4 cup corn starch, 1/2 cup sugar, 1/4 tsp. cinnamon, and stirred it all around.

To roll out the pie crust, I sprinkled a piece of parchment paper with some sweet rice flour, put the dough on the parchment paper, sprinkled some more rice flour, and covered it with another piece of parchment paper. I rolled the dough between the parchment papers until it was a little larger than the pie plate. Then I peeled off the top layer and flipped the dough onto the pie plate. It rolled out and held together beautifully, which had never happened before when I made a GF pie crust. So I had hope!

I filled the crust with the blueberry filling, and dotted it with about 2 T of butter. Then I rolled out the second crust in the same way as the first. But instead of rolling it flat and putting the whole thing on top, I cut stars out with a cookie cutter. I made an egg wash with a beaten egg and a Tbsp. of milk, and brushed the edge of the pie crust with it. The I started layering stars on top, brushing with the egg wash so they would stick together.

It went into the oven at 4oo degrees for 20 minutes, then I lowered the temperature to 350 and cooked it for another 30 minutes.

I had a little bit of extra dough, so my daughter and I made a couple of extra stars and I baked them in the toaster oven with a little cinnamon and sugar on top until they were toasty. They were a yummy treat!

The pie turned out great. My husband said that there was no way anyone could tell that this was a gluten free crust. It was tender and flaky, just right. The blueberries cooked up beautifully, and the pie wasn't runny at all. We served it with some vanilla ice cream on the side. It was a wonderful father's day treat!

I tried to work out the carbs per piece of pie, and thought that an eighth of the pie was about 70 carbs. It was hard to figure because I had to add flour to roll the dough, and I wasn't sure how much I had shaken on. But when Daniel tested his blood sugar just now, he was at 215, but there was no correction, so I think he's not going to go wacky high. Ice cream can also do funky things to his blood sugar, but he only had 1/2 cup.

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there. And I hope you get to enjoy blueberry season, too!

(NOTE: I made the pie again on 6/27, and this time took pictures of the dough making process. It really helps to have someone there to take pictures with you or your camera gets all smeary!!!)

I'm also posting this recipe on http://www.glutenfreehomemaker.com/!! Great site, and a wonderful place for sharing recipes.

Non-sleep over

2009-06-20T07:53:00.002-04:00

Daniel had a couple of friends over last night for an end of school, watch movies, play video games, eat pizza kind of sleepover. Luckily we have a basement *and* an upstairs so I can't hear them (unless they are REALLY loud, which has happened in the past) when they are talking trash at the video games and sneaking upstairs for cookies. One of Daniels' friends, during a past sleepover, ate an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies in the middle of the night... that didn't happen last night.

But at 3 a.m. or so my husband got out of bed and I heard him negotiating with the boys. Apparently the phone rang -- oops, I missed that -- so they were sternly told that enough was enough and GO TO SLEEP.

Phones ringing in the middle of the night always set me off thinking about emergencies. So as Matt settled quickly into dreamland (HOW DOES HE DO THAT???) after grumbling, "no more @*%*$ sleepovers!! -- I stayed awake and day?dreamed scenarios. Then I thought about the movie I saw with Dominic & Nora (Night at the Museum), the salad I had for dinner that I would like to make at home (insalata d'oro, which was a huge pile of diced golden yellow tomatoes with olive oil, basil, goat cheese, and pine nuts and two slices of a delicious, fresh Italian bread) and the list of things to do today, lists for the upcoming vacation..

Basically, I thought my way to 6:30, tossed and turned for 45 minutes, then gave up.

Good morning.

Morning Quiet

2009-06-19T07:13:00.002-04:00

Throughout the school year mornings are highly choreographed. I wake up at 5:20 and get ready for the day, then wake each child in time to get ready & get on the bus. 3 kids, 3 different schools, 3 different schedules. I have a rigid routine, and feel very much like a drill sergeant as I move the sleepyheads through the motions of breakfast and backpacks.

Ahhhh, summer.

I am still up before the kids - I have an internal alarm clock that won't quit. But it let me get past my initial 5 a.m. clock check the last few mornings to a glorious 6:30 or 7. Now I have my steaming coffee, a nice warm computer, and lists of things to take care of during the day.

I am almost over yesterday's frustration at the Motor Vehicle Administration. After waiting for an hour for our number to be called, we found that Daniel could not get his learner's permit right away because of his diabetes. We had to call the Driver Wellness and Safety Division (DWSD) and give them our info, and wait for them to send us some forms. These forms need to be filled out by us and Daniel's doctor, then sent back to the DWSD. Then we wait for their approval before he can get his permit.

Of course, Daniel is already in driver's ed. But now he can't go on the road with them to complete the course. My fault, I know, because I should have found all this out before I signed him up for the course. Although, I knew this was going to happen. But in my research, and from what people have said, I understood that we would have to go through this rigmarole when getting the actual license, not the learner's permit.

Today when I drop Daniel off at Driver's ed, I'm going to see if he can defer the 2nd week of the class until we get all our paperwork completed. What a pain.

Yuck, I'm getting stressed just writing about it. Moving on!

I've been making lists for our upcoming travels. The trip to our in-laws is a snap; we've got a routine for traveling with diabetes & gluten free on car trips. But later this summer we'll do our first air travel with these conditions. From everything I've read, it's very difficult to find GF foods in airports (anyone interested in starting a new business? There's definitely a need!). I will pack power bars, peanut butter, crackers, and other easy to carry snacks. Instead of staying at a hotel, we're staying in a rental house so I can cook GF meals. We'll stop at a whole foods on the way to the rental to stock up. Cooking at home away from home is a great way to save money while traveling. Although I'm sure we will find some places that are safe to eat, I'd rather not blow the budget on food.

Time to eat some breakfast and start the day!

Gaming Risks

2009-06-06T06:45:00.004-04:00

Daniel is off with friends to the Pokemon Video Game Regional Championships today. Up at the crack of dawn to drive a couple of hours to register for the gaming, and hope to be selected at random to play. Daniel's friend E. asked him to go, E's mom was driving, so it was set. He left a few minutes ago. The sun is now up, and the early dog walkers are making their way down the street. I have my first cup of coffee after a cough-y night of little sleep, and am listening to the birds twittering their morning greetings.

I'm always a little nervous about letting Daniel go on overnights, or on longer trips, because we've had trips to the emergency room because of diabetes/celiac complications when he's been far from home or at a sleepover. So I get jumpy. But I read a wonderful article on Health Central by Dr. Fran Cogen about preparing your diabetic teen for college. She talks about using the time while your teen is home to GO on those sleepovers, GO on those little trips. Take the smaller risks while still relatively close to home, while mom and dad are still nearby. These small, independent steps will help your child build confidence and experience to handle difficult health situations when he is on his own. With Dr. Cogen's article in mind, I gave Daniel my blessing to go.

I know when the starting time of the competition is, but have no idea when these boys will be headed home. We packed a rather large lunch box, because traveling gluten-free is always chancy at best, especially when the most likely food stops will be fast food establishments. Daniel made a large sub sandwich with an Against the Grain baguette. These are a staple in our house, for both sandwiches and "french bread pizzas." Daniel loves these guys sliced in half lengthwise, slathered in tomato sauce, and topped with mozzarella and pepperoni slices! But for this trip he made an Italian sub. We sliced the sub into 3 pieces, and sliced tomatoes and put them in a container so that he could layer them into his sandwich later (to avoid super soggy sub syndrome). He also packed Glutino vegetable crackers, which are one of his new favorite snack foods. I made chocolate chip cookies the other night from the recipe on the Pamela's Flour Mix bag, and there were a few left to put into the lunch bag. There was just enough room for a couple of cans of diet coke, some Sunbutter crunch bars, and a giant banana. That should hold my hungry teenager through mid afternoon!

It's a pain to have to carry all your food around all the time, especially when you are a kid. Celiac kids can't just stop for pizza or a burger with their friends. Some restaurant people GET IT when we explain about celiac, and requiring separate prep areas, etc. etc. Some restaurant people are clueless. In their cluelessness they smile and say they can try to accommodate us, but we have learned not to trust these places. Daniel has been accidentally glutened before, and he goes through too much misery to make these risks worth it.

I was happy to see an endeavor by the Celiac Chicks to create a gluten-free map of the world. Here celiac people everywhere can sign in and add their favorite gluten-free restaurant/store locations to the map, and can benefit from the knowledge of others. The map is here. I've added Lilit Cafe in Bethesda, and will add more places like Roots Market, and My Organic Market, where I frequently shop for gluten free foods. I love the idea of the map. I can access it from my iTouch, it's free, and it is growing all the time. Please add to it if you know of some great gluten-free places.

It's still early; no one else in the house is awake, so I'm going to go add to the map. The sun is shining and it looks like it is going to be a beautiful day!

RRRRIIIIppppppp... OUCH!

2009-06-03T09:26:00.003-04:00

Pump tubing and kitchen cabinet handles. Need I say more?

Daniel often walks around with his pump tubing dangling out of his pockets. Parents yell, "TUBING!" Daniel rolls eyes. Halfheartedly stuffs the tubing back in his pocket. A couple of times at school kids have tried yanking it, thinking the tubing is iPod headphones. More often, however, the kitchen cabinet handles grab it and pull HARD.

Daniel thinks we should replace the cabinet handles, or just get rid of them. I told him I was going to get him one of those pump bands that go around the belly so he can zip the tubing into that (again, I get the teenage eye-roll). Actually, what I'm going to do is order shorter tubing so that when he has the pump attached to his stomach or hips, he won't have so much dangling out.

I wish there was a way to adjust it! Like if the pumps had a cleat on the side to wrap the extra cord around...

Sounds of Silence

2009-06-02T12:57:00.002-04:00

I'm home for the 2nd day with a sick child. Dominic has had a fever and upset stomach, and hasn't eaten in 2 days, except for 1 1/4 banana. Oh, and a few sips of ginger ale and glasses of water. He's exhausted. It crossed my mind that I should test his blood sugar, but he's not going to the bathroom all the time or thirsty ALL the time. But he is thirsty. But tummy bugs can dehydrate you. And he did just catch this bug from me, and I was exhausted & thirsty, too. I will try to quiet the worry monkey part of my brain. Listen to the silence of this house as he is napping, enjoy the moments of calm that have been few and far between.

I'm amazed that I've made it through the first year of teaching. It was both more difficult and more delightful than I expected. I am so happy to have the support of a wonderful team of educators & mentors. I also think that with this first year behind me, I'll have a supply of strategies in my pocket that I can turn to in coming years, when I'm looking for help. That supply will continue to grow as my experience grows.

Daniel has an endo visit this week, and I'm hoping his A1c will be better than the last time. His numbers have been pretty good, actually, with the exception of a spike last week when he caught this bug that's going through our family. I also want to talk to the endo about pump breaks, because we will be going to the beach a few times and we have to figure out how to deal with that. I don't think going to the pool will be a problem. Daniel can unhook from the pump for a while, swim, and check back every so often. I've read up on that enough that I think we can work that out. But it doesn't seem to be a good idea to be connected to the pump if we know we're going to spend a whole day at the beach, where he tends to be in the water for long periods of time... or digging around in the sand.

We also have to make sure we're up to speed about changing time zones, as we'll be travelling this summer. Lots to plan for, but all very exciting and fun.

The warm summer-like day is calling, but I can't leave the house. While Dominic was awake, I watered the garden, and took our potato experiments out of their small pots and put them into the ground. I don't know if we'll actually get potatoes, or if the squirrels/deer/bunnies will get to them first, but it's fun to try. The potatoes, one tomato plant, a couple of basil, parsley, thyme, chocolate mint, and rosemary - that's the extent of my summer garden. As it is, I could spend all my time weeding, and I don't want to do that.

Life's too short to weed.

Ravioli -- again!

2009-05-25T15:49:00.007-04:00

So much to write about and so little time. When the school year is over, I plan to WRITE MORE!

Daniel and I had a go at making ravioli again. Thanks so much to my friend Leah who loaned me her pasta cranker -- brand spanking new -- with no gluten flour inside! I used it to roll out the ravioli noodles. Well... Daniel used it. He wouldn't let me touch it. "Mom, I'm good with machines!!" Well, I would be too, if you would let me have a turn!

Anyway, the ravioli was delicious, and so much easier than the last time when I hand-rolled it. It was tricky at first. When we first put the dough through the rollers, it came out looking almost shredded. But we patiently mashed it back together and put it back through, and after a few times it held together. Daniel would fold it and put it back in, repeat, repeat repeat, until finally it made a nice big flat noodle.

I was in charge of putting the noodle in the ravioli press and filling it. That was a little tricky too, with the GF flour. I had to be careful not to press too hard with the ravioli form or the dough would break. But I found that even if it cracked, I would seal up the crack with a little egg white before I cooked it, and the filling stayed inside. It was such fun! I'm going to get one of those cool machines!!

The ravioli ended up being about 5.5 carbs each, by the way.

Diaversary

2009-05-08T10:48:00.002-04:00

Today is Daniel's 2 year diaversary. Last year we lit a candle and said a prayer, and I will do something similar today, probably on my own. Daniel doesn't really note this anniversary, and that's fine. However, I can't let the day go by without doing something.

I hugged him this morning as he was getting ready for school, and said, "Happy (ha ha) diaversary," and he said, "Oh, is it? What day is it?" So I reminded him. And then I congratulated him on managing very well for two years with diabetes.

"Two years? No, just one!" he said. Then he remembered he was 14 when he was diagnosed. "Oh yeah, two years. Wow. Okay, bye!"

And that was it.

Mochi

2009-05-05T20:58:00.003-04:00

At our local health food store, Roots, there was a sale item in the gluten free section called "Mochi." It didn't look too appetizing, but sounded intriguing, AND it was on sale, so I picked up a package. It was in the refrigerated section, and was a small, flat brick of brown, solid, pounded, glutenous rice sealed in plastic. (Not the kind of gluten that hurts celiac people!) This particular mochi had raisins & cinnamon mashed into it, which probably accounted for the coloring. The instructions were pretty easy -- cut into 1 to 2 inch squares, bake at 450 for 8 - 10 minutes, until puffed. Then there were serving suggestions inside.

I cooked up a few mochi, and followed the serving suggestion. It said to cut into the mochi square, insert a dollop of cream cheese, and then top with a little agave nectar. I served one to Daniel and his eyes almost rolled back in his head from delight. WOW! Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside. It tasted just like a bite of cinnamon-raisin bagel.

I've gone on a youtube hunt ever since for mochi-making instructions. So many varieties. We're on to something fun!!

Thinking of Cake

2009-05-01T20:30:00.002-04:00

We're celebrating my parents' 50th anniversary soon, and I'm thinking of cake. Gluten free cake. I'm trying to decide what direction to go. GF cheesecake is easy, but not everyone likes cheesecake. A pavlova would be lovely and light, but I've never made one before. While I was surfing around today, I found a wedding cake & food guide pdf on the Pamela's Products page that gives tips on how to make GF wedding cakes. Hmmm. I don't want a four-tiered wonder, but some of the tips look helpful, like sprinkling simple syrup on the layers to keep them moist, and using "magic strips" to stop the layers from doming while baking. I may have to give that a try.

Okay, I have to help Daniel with a site change now, so I guess I'll put this blog post off until later. It seems that every time I sit down to write, a child starts a major conversation with me. What is it with their timing? Daniel is still talking to me as I type! It's amazing! Now he says I'm mean... Bye...

Busy Busy Plans Plans Plans

2009-04-26T08:32:00.004-04:00

I made a plan for yesterday, and it was quite ambitious, but it was the first Saturday in forever that there was nothing on the calendar. I went over the plan with the kids -- cleaning rooms, laundry, hair cuts, shopping for shorts, doing that nagging yard work in front of the house...

2 hair cuts. Shorts for 3 kids. Underwear for 2 kids. 2 pairs of shoes, 1 pair of sandals. Bakugan purchase to celebrate excellent school week. Ice cream to celebrate straight As. Venti shaken lemonade iced green tea (barely sweetened) for mom, because Mother Nature turned on the heat and it is suddenly 85 degrees. 2 rooms vacuumed. Small amount of yard work done because I ran out of lawn bags. 3 loads of laundry completed (only because the venti iced tea was absorbed too late in the day and I couldn't sleep). Lawn bags purchased at Home Depot, but they didn't have any phlox. 1 child delivered to playdate. 2 kids got 2 burgers, 1 fries, many peanuts at 5 Guys. Mom ate the peanuts.

I wanted to do some cooking/baking, but time ran out. I borrowed a pasta machine from a friend -- one that fits into my Kitchenaid mixer -- so I could use it to once again make the GF ravioli (after I told her about my difficult hand-rolling experience). It was very kind of her to let me borrow it because she never even used it yet! Perfect for me, as that means there is no gluten in the machine for me to worry about. But it has been sitting on my counter for 3 weeks and I haven't had a chance to give it a try. Typical!

Today I will involve the children in housework and cage cleaning as much as humanly possible, grade papers, hunt for phlox, and shop & cook for the week. Mow the lawn? Make more ravioli? Bake GF bread? I'm pushing it. Plan for the week, when I will be counting down the days until Friday again, when my husband comes back from his trip and I can perhaps get a moment of quiet...

Sleep is SOOOO Overrated!

2009-04-21T19:01:00.003-04:00

If only I didn't have to sleep. There's so much to explore! So I just joined Twittermoms, and now I wonder if I have the time to actually tweet.

I love the tech words that are now in common usage... I can tweet, blog, twitter, youtube, and add to my delicious. With a dongle, wiimotes, and a light pen, I can turn any surface into a smartboard. I don't need a dongle to iphone an update to my facebook.

Just a small sampling... cracks me up.

Ouch.

2009-04-18T19:59:00.003-04:00

After I got the dinner on the table, I started cooking again so Daniel could have empanadas for this week's school lunches. I also popped some GF brownies in the oven because I was out of desserts other than a few chocolate candies and the last of a bag of some verrrrrry crunchy Midel ginger snaps.

Rolling dough, remembering the laundry left in the dryer from yesterday, catering to children's requests, general juggling. I said to Daniel, "what did I used to do with my free time? I can't remember."

And he hit back with, "Two years mom. Then I'm going to college. I'll be out of here and you'll have less to do."

Ouch. That was below the belt.

I suggested that he might consider going to University of Maryland and commuting from home. Good GF food here, and his local endocrinologist to boot. But he said, NO WAY, I'm GOING. Echoes of me at that age.

What will I do with my spare time? Miss him terribly. And work on creating delicious gluten-free care packages.

Where's the Gluten? or A Touch of Serendipity

2009-04-16T19:12:00.003-04:00

I was supposed to go on a field trip today with the lower school. We were headed to a bilingual theater performance in Washington, DC. After we returned, I was going to broadcast the dvd of my 4th graders' news program, which they had been working on over the past couple of weeks. I burned the dvd yesterday right before I left school. This morning, before going on the field trip, I tested out the dvd, and it had a problem. The sound wasn't tracking with the movements. So I had to re-save it from windows movie maker in a different format, and reburn the dvd. All of which was going to take more time than the 20 minutes I had before the busses left on the field trip.

My boss said it was okay, there were enough teachers on the trip, just go ahead and work on the broadcast. So I got the problem fixed, and had just finished burning the last of the dvds to give to the kids when my cell phone rang.

It was Daniel's school nurse, calling to let me know that he had just lost his lunch and had terrible stomach pains.

If I had gone on the field trip, I wouldn't have been able to rush out of school to go get Daniel. I would have been stuck downtown, waiting for the school bus to take me back. Frustrated as I was with the dvd this morning, I was so happy that it kept me close to my car!

Daniel thought he was glutened somehow, because he threw up right after eating lunch. But everything in his lunch was packed by me, and it was leftovers of stuff that he had before. Baked beans and rice. Gluten free corn chips. A kiwi. A choco-loco bar (GF). He said he started feeling really sick when he was eating the kiwi, and that he didn't want kiwis in his lunch anymore.

I wondered if he was suddenly allergic to kiwi. Or if there was gluten on the table, and it got on his hands, and in his mouth when he ate the kiwi. He said that he and his friends were throwing around some Easter candy. Sometimes candy has gluten on it to keep it from sticking. Maybe that was the case. Anyway, we can't figure out where the gluten came from, if it was gluten. It could have been a stomach bug. After going low, having sugar, rebounding high, and taking pepto bismol, he's on the mend now.

He can make up that major test that he missed tomorrow.

Emotional Monday

2009-04-13T08:55:00.002-04:00

I really ought to go get my hormone levels checked or something. It doesn't take much to get me weepy on a Monday morning! I read a story that popped up on my Comcast news page about how diabetics (and of course it didn't differentiate between type 1 and type 2) are cutting back on medicine to survive loss of or cutbacks on health insurance because of this economy. Those who are insulin dependent are switching to less expensive kinds of insulin that don't give as tight control as the more expensive brands. One woman went into DKA because, the article said, "she stopped taking most of her drugs and cut her insulin doses in half to stretch her budget."

I got very emotional, sitting here at my computer on a Monday morning, preparing for my classes, preparing to greet the kids with a smile. Deep breath time.

I guess Daniel must be using one of the cheaper insulins. Is Novolog one of the cheaper ones? When I went to pick up his prescription on Friday, I took out my wallet, ready to pay $35 as I have done since switching to this insurance, and the pharmacist said there was no charge. Something switched this month.

Shouldn't I have been informed that something changed? I'll have to check through my emails, and junk emails, to see if there was a notice.

Anyhow, I hope that this country makes strong progress towards a better health care system. It is past time, and people are dying every day because they can't get the care that they need. I know I'm focusing on diabetes, but of course there are so many other chronic conditions, so many patients in desperate need.

*sigh* Monday.

It's exhausting.

2009-04-12T20:02:00.004-04:00

It's exhausting trying to make myself understood to teenagers. Or preteens. Or youngsters. Or anybody. Sometimes I think I'm speaking an alien language, and the people to whom I'm speaking are smiling and nodding just to humor me until I go away.

I don't even feel like going into the details. Suffice it to say that I thought I made myself clear, and Daniel thought I did not. Until I blew up, at which point I was, of course, overreacting. Because I initially did not make a clear request, so how could there be follow through?

Oh, yeah, and just ignore all those low insulin warnings and let the pump start sucking air, while you're at it.

ack. Calgon, take me away.

Lost

2009-04-08T15:06:00.004-04:00

Yesterday we had friends over for dinner, wonderful old friends whom we haven't seen in a while, so that was lovely. However, a few minutes before I was going to sit everyone down, I got a phone call from the kids' dentist. We had been there earlier that afternoon. They said, "I believe I have a bag that belongs to you... it has glucose tablets and a small machine..."

"Yes! I need that! That's my son's diabetes kit. How late are you open?"

The lady told me that she would stay in the office until I got there. I looked at my old friends and told them that I had to leave them to go pick up Daniel's kit. They were wonderful, didn't mind staying with the kids, and even finished the prep for dinner.

I was pissed off, of course, because I had to leave my own dinner party. And worried that some day Daniel is going to leave his kit in a place where he can't get it back. We have extra glucometers, but they are not the ones that "talk" to his pump. Everything is replaceable, I suppose. It's just that various scenarios run through my mind -- usually going something like 'he leaves his bag somewhere on a field trip, and on the way home he goes low and needs glucose tabs.' Danger danger emergency emergency.

Has this happened to you? Have you lost your diabetes stuff and found yourself in a sticky situation? Have you had trouble replacing what you've lost? Do you only carry your diabetes stuff in your kit, or do you stuff it with other things, as my son does?

I suppose it is easier for women, because we are used to carrying things around in a purse. But what do all the guys do?

Growing Pains

2009-04-02T19:09:00.003-04:00

It was one of those days. First day back at work after spring break, so I started off tired. After work I had to pick up Daniel, drop him off at home so he could do his job and his homework, run to pick up my glasses because I got the call that they were ready, but got interrupted en route by a call from Nora who was ready to be picked up from school earlier than scheduled because rehearsals were over. So I told her to be ready with all her stuff outside the school so I wouldn't have to go in and find her.

She jumps in the car and we go to get my glasses, stopping off at Game Stop so I can replace a game of Daniel's that I broke last week. Get the glasses, swing by weight watchers to weigh in (the same for the past 2 weeks, argh!) and then pick up some roasted chicken because there is no time to make dinner tonight.

Nora put the chicken on the floor of the car and as I turned to back out of the parking space to head out and pick up Dominic from his after school care, something catches my eye. A lovely scarf, which is on a beautiful black leather jacket. That I don't recognize.

"Who does that jacket belong to?" I asked Nora, thinking, rather ridiculously, Who would put a jacket in my car?

"Uhhh, did I pick up the wrong..." Nora says. And then a phone rings. It's not my phone. It's coming from the jacket.

I find the phone, a nice touch-screen blackberry, and the caller ID says that a friend of mine is calling. I try to figure out how to answer the damned phone, and finally get it. Turns out it belongs to another friend (the mom of one of Nora's friend) who is frantically looking for her jacket and phone.

We arrange to have her pick it up after she does her car pool run. I turn to Nora and say, "How could you mistake this jacket for yours?" She does not have a leather jacket. "I don't know. I was tired!"

She's leaving her stuff all over the house. The ice cream on the counter. Her sweaters on the floor. A hammer on the driveway. Despite the straight A's, her brain is sometimes turned off.

I guess she's becoming a teenager!!!

April Fool!

2009-04-01T09:47:00.002-04:00

At breakfast Nora said, "Oh no! I just remembered that I have a five-paragraph essay due today in English class!!!"

Dominic stayed sound asleep, even after I whispered, "Panera breakfast?"

Daniel lost his brand new expensive glasses and his flash drive with all his code for his game development class.

Which one is NOT the April Fools joke?

Gluten Free Ravioli

2009-03-27T15:43:00.010-04:00

Last night I made gluten free ravioli from scratch. After seeing the price for frozen GF ravioli in the store, I thought I would try to do my own.

I used a recipe from the book, "Wheat-Free Recipes & Menus" by Carol Fenster, Ph.D. The pasta recipe calls for 2 eggs, 1/4 cup water, 1 T canola oil, 1/2 cup each of brown rice or sorghum flour, tapioca flour, cornstarch, 1/4 cup potato starch, 4 tsp. xanthan gum, 1 tsp. gelatin powder, and 1/2 tsp. salt. You put the liquid in the the food processor, mix together, add the rest, process until it becomes a ball, break it up and process it again.

I bought a ravioli frame in the hopes that the gluten free pasta flour would hold together well enough for it to work. I have to say, the hardest part about this whole thing was rolling out the dough thinly. Not because, as with other gluten free doughs, it would crumble apart, but because there's so much xanthan gum in this recipe that the dough is very tough and doesn't want to stretch out! I will have to experiment with the amount of xanthan gum, and also the different kinds of flours. I'd like to try corn flour, maybe instead of the potato startch. I like some of the commercially available GF pasta that is made with corn flour.

Once you roll out the dough, you put it over the ravioli frame. There's a plastic piece that you press into the dough to indent it down into the circles. Then you fill the circles with your filling. I used ricotta, mozarella, and romano cheeses, with an egg yolk and italian spices mixed in. You mix an egg white with water and paint the edges of your ravioli, so that when you put the top layer on it will stick.

Then you roll out a second sheet to put on top
of the first. Press around the frames to seal, and
then use your rolling pin to cut the raviolis out.

It didn't say to do so in the recipe, but I let the raviolis sit and dry a bit on the counter. I know you do that with regular pasta, and I wanted to make sure the egg white seal got nice and dry before I popped these guys into water.

After they dried for about an hour, I decided to freeze some of them for later. I put them on a piece of parchment on a cookie sheet and popped them in the freezer until they were hard, then I transferred them to a zip loc bag.

I decided to use a shallow saucepan to boil the remaining ravioli. I wanted to get them to a gentle simmer, in the hopes that they wouldn't break apart. As with most gluten free doughs, I saw a few cracks as they were being pushed into shape. I wiped a bit of egg white liquid on the cracks.

The pasta recipe says to simmer for 5 minutes, but since these guys had some filling in them, and they are pretty large, I let them go for 8.

I didn't tell Daniel ahead of time that I was going to do this, just in case they fell apart & were a total failure. I cooked non gf ravioli for the other kids, and put everything out on the plates. When Daniel saw his plate, his eyes widened. "Are these really for me?" he asked. He started wolfing them down before testing his blood sugar! I made him stop and test.

"I didn't even realize how much I missed ravioli," he said. He ate 12 of these guys. I estimated that they were 8 carbs per ravioli. He absolutely loved them, and I'm so glad.

What would I do differently? First of all, I think I'm going to scour ebay for a hand crank pasta machine. I took a bite of the ravioli and think that it would benefit from dough that is rolled a bit thinner. But I couldn't get it any thinner by hand, it was just too hard to roll. Using a pasta machine would help.

Also, after the dough is processed and in a ball, I would break it into 6 or 7 pieces, wrap them, and put them aside. The dough that remained in the processor while the rest was being rolled dried out very quickly. I had to re-process with a bit of liquid to get it rollable again.

As I said before, I'll also experiment with different flour combinations. And different fillings! But on the whole, I was very pleased with this cooking experiment, and am glad that I don't have to spend the $8.00 on the very small bag of frozen ravioli!

A Break

2009-03-26T10:09:00.008-04:00

I'm on spring break this week, and even though it doesn't match my kids' spring break schedules, it came at the right time. Teaching is a great job, but it drains you and those little breaks, the one day holidays or snow days really help get me through. But the nice long spring break is just what I needed to recharge the old batteries.

Of course, I still have to wake up early each day to get the kids off to school. And Nora was home sick with me the first two days of my break. And I've jammed doctor/dentist appointments into this time. But still.

Today is the first day that I'm on my own, no appointments, no sick kids (spit through fingers to ward off the evil eye). When Nora was home I cleaned out the closet in the boys' room and rearranged things somewhat. Filled up a huge bag of clothes that don't fit to pass along to friends. Nora has pleaded with me not to go through her room, that she'll do it herself. Little does she know that we have a date Saturday morning with the trash bag and the vacuum! Today I cleaned out and organized the entry closet, rearranged furniture, and am planning the cubby system for the kids' school things. The Container Store is calling me. I'm also going to cook.

One of my goals for this break was to make a couple of gluten-free foods that I think are waaaay overpriced in the stores that carry these items. Of course, GF flour is ridiculously expensive. There's one mix I buy, the Nearly Normal brand, that I like a lot, but the 4 pound bag costs $21. I wish GF foods fell under the prescription medicine umbrella! I think I read somewhere that it is possible to take the cost of these foods off your taxes as a medical expense (don't quote me on it) but you have to do some serious receipt saving and record keeping, which I haven't done. But sometimes when I'm balancing the checkbook and I see what I've spent at the grocery store, I get stressed.

Anyway, back to the GF foods. The two that I'm going to make this week are GF ravioli, and vegetarian & meat stuffed grape leaves. I don't have a pasta maker, but I do have one of those grid-looking things that is a ravioli press, so we'll see if that works for the GF dough. If not, I'll just hand-shape it. A tiny bag of gf ravioli is 8 dollars in the store, and the recipe I'm looking at makes 30 ravioli for much less than that.

The stuffed grape leaves look pretty easy to make, just a bit time consuming, and time is a precious resource. But they are an easy-to-pack food, which makes them great for school lunches.

The other day I made chicken tikka masala. I found a spice pack by Arora Creations with the recipe on the back (note the GLUTEN FREE, DIABETIC SAFE), so I gave it a try. It was totally delicious, but a little too spicey for the kids' liking. Next time I will use my own spices and turn down the heat a bit.

First you heat up some olive oil in a pan, and saute 1 minced medium onion, 1/2 cup minced ginger (thank goodness for those easy to use jars of minced ginger!), 4 cloved garlic (I always use more garlic) until light brown.

Here it is, cooking nicely and smelling DELICIOUS.

Then you add the spice pack, which has ground
sunflower seeds, coriander, pepper, cumin, chiles, nutmeg, mace, cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, salt, lemon oil, turmeric. I think that when I do it myself, I'll use the same spices, some fresh lemon (added at the end), and perhaps grind up some flax seeds for the fiber & omega 3.

You stir that all around for a couple of minutes until it gets really fragrant.

Next you add an 8oz can of tomato sauce and let
that simmer for a couple of minutes. Then you add the chicken and cook, stirring, for 8 - 10 minutes.

Finally, you add 3/4 cup water, stir once, then
cover and cook for 8 - 10 minutes. Garnish with cilantro. Serve over hot rice.

I was going to take a picture of it all pretty on the plate with the cilantro and rice, but it smelled so good and we were so hungry...

On another note, Daniel has been complaining of a low grade stomach ache this past week, sort of since he was glutened by the Milky Way candies. I also bought a bag of mini snickers (which he had at Halloween and he was fine) and mini Reeses peanut butter cups, which have been fine in the past. He wants to give it another week before I call the doctor and start with rounds of invasive tests. I also told him to write down absolutely everything he eats & drinks to see if we can find out what is going on.

Okay. Off to make pasta dough.

What a Pain!

2009-03-19T19:23:00.004-04:00

Daniel told me that he was glutened at dinner, and I said, WHAT? We had leftovers for dinner. Everything he ate, I made from scratch.

Except.

He grabbed a couple of mini milky way midnights for dessert.

When I go to the grocery store, I read every freakin' label. Even things I've gotten before, because sometimes companies change their ingredients just for fun. I read the ingredients of Milky Way Midnights: Semisweet chocolate (sugar, chocolate processed with alkali, cocoa butter, milkfat, soy lecithin, natural and artificial flavors), corn syrup, sugar, hydrogenated palm kernal oil and/or palm oil, skim milk, less than 2% milkfat, lactose, salt, egg whites, natural and artificial flavor. The allergy info says that it might contain peanuts.

There's no ingredient listed that is a gluten problem. So I bought the package. When Daniel complained of stomach pain tonight, I checked online to see if anyone else had any problems with these candies. It seems that regular milky way bars contain both wheat and barley malt, which make them a big NO NO for my kid. But the minis don't have any wheat or gluten ingredients listed. Other people asked what the deal was, because it's confusing!

Well, let me tell you -- if you are celiac, don't eat them! Trust Daniel's stomach and stay away from the pain.

And now I'm just hoping that whatever amount of gluten that he had was so small that he will be able to get through the evening without losing his dinner!

Honest Scrap Award

2009-03-17T21:07:00.003-04:00

Thank you FeltFinland for nominating me for the Honest Scrap award! It was her first blog award and mine, too! The rules are: 1. Pick 7 or so blogs that make you happy. 2. Let them know and post their names on your blog. 3. List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

Wow. There's a list of blogs on the left side of my page that I read. I haven't had much time to read lately because work is a time vampire, but here's a short list, pretty much diabetes related:

http://diabetesaliciousness.blogspot.com/

http://thebookishone.blogspot.com/

http://nhstuff.blogspot.com/ (although she's already been tagged!)

http://momwantsacure.blogspot.com/

http://momentsofwonderful.wordpress.com/

http://allwaysjillian.wordpress.com/

http://lemonlemonade.wordpress.com/

http://countrygirldiabetic.blogspot.com/

Among others. There are more having to do with family & yoga & celiac... but I guess since I started this blog to deal with the whole diabetes thing, that's what I'm tagging tonight.

Now... 10 honest things about myself. UGH.

1. I'm so scared I'm running out of time to do the things I've always wanted to do. Eww, nothing like starting with a yukky one.

2. I try to notice things on a daily basis. This practice started back in grad school, as I was trying to get ideas to write a few poems a week. When I simply couldn't think of anything to write, I would try to intently focus on the world around. The smallest things can turn into the biggest poems. I would write in my journal, "I noticed today _____"

3. I believe that positive thinking is powerful and try to practice it. Even though I may whine to you.

4. I may tell you that I don't want any chocolate, but secretly I do.

5. Where is that book? Oh, it's inside my head, waiting to get out. I need time and peace and quiet.

6. I want to live at the beach. I don't care about hurricanes.

7. Why is this so difficult to write tonight? I know I'm tired, however, I usually have a lot to say on the subject of me. Maybe #7 should be that teaching takes a lot out of me. It's at the same time quite simple, and incredibly draining.

8. When I was in high school I wore rainbow suspenders and carried around a feather pen. And Nora asks me if I got teased. HA!

9. When I went to college I decided that I could change me to match the me in my head rather than the high school image of me that everyone assumed me to be. It worked, and it was fun.

10. I started highlighting my hair. That's a nice way of saying that I'm going gray.

Bomb Threats & Health Threats

2009-03-13T10:55:00.005-04:00

When Daniel calls me in the middle of the school day I start to twitch before I even open the phone. Usually it's the typical teenage "can I go to J's house after school" type thing, but I still get nervous. He called a few minutes ago to let me know 2 things. #1, that he was stuck outside for an hour because the school had a bomb threat. #2, that the empandas in his lunch were bad (moldy?!?!) and he couldn't eat them and had already bolused for them.

I wasn't sure what to address first! After a couple of false starts, I was able to put together a sentence. "Are you back inside school?" Yes. Then, "GO TO THE NURSE!" I reminded him that he had extra snacks stashed there. Then he tells me, "No, I ate those a long time ago."

This I did not know. Daniel never said, "hey, you might want to refill my snacks at school." Nor did I get a phone call/email from the nurse's office. And I don't like to complain (OK, I do, but not about them) because they are really very good with Daniel and have helped us so much with his rights in school, tending to the Type 1, and everything associated with diabetes & school. But this is frustrating.

I told Daniel to go to the snack machine and get a snickers, or peanut M&Ms. There's not much he can get from the candy machine because of his celiac, but those would be okay.

He said that the candy machines don't operate until after school lets out.

Then get something from the nurse! They will have something in the teacher's lounge!

I called the nurse's office and found out that Daniel did stop by and got 27 carbs worth of juice. His empanadas were 34 carbs. Pretty close... and he has sugar tabs with him. He also promised to stop by the nurse's office between classes and test again just to make sure he's okay.

I guess I have to put a note on my calendar to remind myself every couple of months to call the nurse & make sure all supplies are there. And remind my son to tell me if he finishes something... but he has a teenage brain so that doesn't always work!

After I hung up with the nurse, and was satisfied that Daniel was well cared for, then I started thinking about the bomb threat. This news comes on the heels of the paper that arrived home in my elementary school child's backpack this week -- that they had a code blue at school because they were informed of police activity in the area.

I live in a lovely neighborhood, a nice part of town. Where the hell do I have to go in this world where my kids can be safe at school? I'm sad about the rising violence, the threats to the kids. It's enough we have to fight these damned diseases to keep our kids alive.

*****addendum******

It's 3 for 3.... got a recorded message from the principal of my daughter's school this afternoon. There was police activity outside the school at dismissal time, were 3 older kids were arrested.

Unbelievable.

Just a Big Tease

2009-03-12T18:57:00.002-04:00

Mother Nature can be cruel. The glorious 70 degree days have retreated, and we have a chance of snow/sleet tonight. I have a souvenir of the lovely weather, however. I did some yard cleanup work when it was balmy outside, and now I have streaks of poison ivy showing up on my arms. Gee, thanks.

Daniel's endo has sent some adjustments to his basaling & bolusing, so I hope that stops the slow creep-up of numbers we've seen lately. Daniel's also trying to control his teenage-boy eating (or should I say shoveling) routine. He gets hungry for a second dinner starting an hour after dinner. I truly don't know how one person can eat such a huge pile of mashed potatoes.

He comes by it honestly, though. Daniel's dad is one of 7 kids, and six in a row were boys. My mother in law says she remembers times when the boys were teenagers -- she would go to the grocery store to get food for the week. Two days later she'd open the refrigerator after coming home from work so she could prepare dinner, and it would be empty. Hollow legs, human vacuums, ever hungry, every one. It's incredible to watch.

In any case, it's hard to control blood sugar when you're eating every hour. So Daniel has promised to try to stop grazing. I'll just keep count of the containers in the refrigerator.

Melt in your Mouth

2009-03-10T21:39:00.004-04:00

I cooked up a big batch of blondies tonight. Daniel was out of cookies for school lunches, etc. I used the Namaste brand mix, which I had never tried before, and they turned out pretty good.

Today had been a busy, tough day, and I'm tired. So I jumped right into those blondies along with the kids, and had one hot, right out of the oven.

It's an amazing mood lifter. I've never experienced "runner's high." But "chocolate high" -- I know all about that. :)

No Bugs

2009-03-08T17:47:00.002-04:00

It's one of those wonderful days. Mother Nature turned up the heat, so it's in the 70's with a gentle breeze, party cloudy, and the bugs haven't woken up yet from their winter nap. I spent a couple of hours doing yard cleanup, taking advantage of the weather and saying hi to my neighbors who are all emerging from their houses with their dogs, their kids in strollers, their frisbees and balls. This weather makes everyone smile.

I chopped down some of the dead, tall decorative grasses in front of my house. Underneath there were daffodils, half bloomed. They have another couple of days of balmy weather before March decides to cool off again. But if the daffodils are here, then spring is not far behind!

Spinning Straw Into Gold

2009-03-07T18:49:00.003-05:00

It seems like the school year just gets more more intense and compact as we race headlong towards the finish. There are more activities, assemblies, and projects and June keeps getting closer and honestly I don't know its all going to get done. I try to remind myself to take one day at a time.

And so, with work so busy and the kids' schedules filled, I added one more responsibility into my life. I had been practicing the fine art of saying "NO" since I started working full time, but this is one thing I couldn't resist.

Last weekend I went to a training session to work with the JDRF to mentor newly diagnosed T1 families. Those first few weeks of diagnosis -- that crazy, intense time -- are still so clear in my mind. The fear, the tears, the sleeplessness, and cramming all that life or death info into an overtaxed brain! I was so lucky to have a friend to help in those first days, someone who had been through it with her own son, who held me up when I was collapsing, who went to the 504 plan meeting with me, who emailed me or called me daily until we got our minds wrapped around this enormous change in our family.

I received my first assignment today, and called M. to make sure he received his "Bag of Hope" from the JDRF, and to offer help, sympathy, a shoulder, an answer. M. was very thankful for the phone call. He's at the point where they are just starting to get the blood sugar numbers in range, and feeling like they might have a little control over the situation. M's child is independently testing blood sugars at a young age (what a hero!), and is starting to count carbs. They were still taking everything day by day, but sounded like they were doing well, all things considered. I promised to email links to all sorts of places that helped me when I was in crisis, and told M. to call or email me at any time with questions, concerns, or successes. It was a great conversation.

We probably talked for about 15 minutes. I don't know if M. will call me back, but he did seem happy to know that there were people out there willing to give their time to check in & help.

Oh yes, I am. Thank you, M., for being my first phone call. For helping me learn how to mentor. For sharing your story with me. I'm sad to welcome you to the world of diabetes, but so happy that we're both in a place with supportive, caring people.

Now let's fix the US health care system. :)

Responsibilities

2009-02-26T12:26:00.003-05:00

I went to the doctor yesterday because I'm fighting a very yukky virus, but I went there to confirm that it was, indeed, a virus and not the flu like Nora had the other week. When I arrived I had my insurance card in hand (because that is what they ask for before even raising their eyes to say hello). I was handed a clipboard with a sheet that I needed to read and sign, entitled "Patient responsibilities." This sheet told me that I was responsible to arrive on time, or I would be charged. If I had to cancel an appointment within a certain amount of time, I would be charged. Basically, the paper listed a new fee structure.

I signed it and handed it back to the receptionist, saying, "every time I get a sheet of paper like that, I want to write one up that says, "Doctor's office responsibilities." She giggled. But I was serious.

If you keep me waiting in the outer waiting room for more than 15 minutes, I will charge you $25. If you keep me waiting in the examination room for more than 10 minutes, I will charge you $25 more. If the doctor stops examining me to take a phone call, I will charge you something huge (yes, this has happened). If you misplace my lab tests and make me go to the lab again, I will sue you. If you make me see one doctor just so that he can tell me that it is okay to see another doctor (which I knew in the first place, but couldn't make an appointment with directly), I may lose my mind.

I could go on and on. When I think of how much we have to fight with medical insurance companies for every little thing... when I think of the money they make and how they turn doctor's offices into cattle pens, I get so upset. They have responsibilities, too.

My brain is fuzzy today, and I feel like I'm not expressing myself clearly. But I just wonder whom I could get to sign my little form. Once I write it.

Pets

2009-02-20T20:08:00.002-05:00

Matt came home tonight with a box full of 3 blind moose and a smoking loon.

Temporary pets.

Happy weekend.

Doctor, doctor, give me the news...

2009-02-20T10:47:00.003-05:00

I don't know why I should have to exercise from September to June. Life is just one big treadmill from the start of the school year to the end. I wish I could burn calories driving kids from one appointment to another! I guess I need to go get myself a self-propelled Flintstones car for that to work.

Daniel had his regular endocrinologist appointment yesterday, and his first ophthalmologist appointment today. My husband took Daniel to the endo for the first time. Wouldn't you know it -- because we hadn't been writing down his numbers, just uploading all the info -- their computer wouldn't download anything from Daniel's new glucometer that came with the pump. And then they couldn't access the web site where he had uploaded all his numbers the night before. We didn't print out any reports or charts, thinking that they could just access everything online. Ugh. Lesson learned. Next time we will be better prepared. So the doc couldn't really do much except check his A1c (phooey! 7.7, just like before!) and ask Daniel to email her all the information.

Since he started on the pump, his blood sugar levels have been so much better. I think we kind of got into a lull in the last month or so, and Daniel went for a few weeks without uploading his glucometer to the web site to check for trends. When I looked at his charts last night, I saw that his numbers were trending up again. Time to make some adjustments. It's hard to be vigilant ALL the time. Actually, not all the time. It's hard to remember to be vigilant once a week, to check the numbers, look at the trends. As I said, we're on the school schedule treadmill. Time is a slippery thief, and is almost impossible to catch. All I can think about is, "where are we going today? What's on the agenda? Meetings? Homework? Doctor appointment?" And then I forget other important, but less urgent stuff. Can I blame menopause?

I caught Nora, who is in middle school, a few weeks ago writing out a list for herself before going to bed at night. She was preparing for the next day when she knew she had a lot to take care of. I need to take a page from her book!

Today I took Daniel to the ophthalmologist. His retina, his nerves -- they are fine. But she couldn't get Daniel to see 20/20 in his left eye. We talked about the fact that his A1c was on the high side, and hopefully once we make adjustments to the insulin and we can get that number down, he will be able to bring that eye into better focus.

I'm sad about that eye. Of course, I'm sad about diabetes in general. I try to keep an emotional balance about it all, but that's very difficult. You see, after months and months of crying, I finally came to the realization that although I can support my child and do everything in my power to educate him about his conditions and give him the best medical care possible, I can't change what has happened to him. I can't cure him, and I can't control all his actions. I can't watch and count every carb that passes through his lips because he takes responsibility, as he should, for most of that. I have to take care of him, but at the same time, I have to encourage him to take care of himself.

And I am lucky... Daniel is such a great kid. He wants to take care of himself, to be compliant in his diabetes regimen, to educate himself about what he can and cannot eat because of his celiac.

This brings me back to something that I have to remember every day. Something that is always on my list, but that I don't always think about. It's pretty simple. It's just to be thankful. I send gratitude out to the universe for my wonderful children, with all their talents, abilities, compassion, and joy. Thanks for a supportive, wonderful husband and a strong marriage. Thanks for today. The sun came up, we got out of bed, and started running on our hamster wheel. It's better than the alternative.

Phooey Fluey I forgot

2009-02-13T14:51:00.004-05:00

I was supposed to get a flu shot in fall; they were being given at my workplace for a nominal charge. I signed up for it, but the day came and I had a sick child and had to stay home. Then I forgot. How many times was I in CVS picking up prescriptions, where I could have plonked down my $20 and gotten a shot while waiting? Fuggetaboutit. I forgot.

Daniel did not get a flu shot this year, either. He should, as he is at higher risk for complications with his diabetes. I blame this one on lack of organization on my part. I was better able to keep track of all these things when I wasn't working full time. So I forgot.

This morning I took Nora in to the doctor's office, where we found out that she has the flu. Dominic was with us because we did a walk-in appointment on the way to dropping him off at school. The doctor said to Dominic, "Stay away from your sister!" I nodded, thinking about the scuffle they got into 20 minutes earlier as I was trying to get them to go into the car. Ugh. As we were leaving I thought, hmmm. I don't remember scheduling Dominic's physical back in January... So I checked with the nurse. It turns out that I forgot.

Luckily, I didn't forget to buy lysol the last time I was at the store. I've been spraying and wiping and praying and hoping that the flu stops with Nora.

Ginkgo, anyone?

Tenth and a Half

2009-02-10T19:06:00.002-05:00

Halfway through his tenth grade year, Daniel has started to receive mailings from colleges. The slick brochures and postcards started arriving this week. Ithaca, St. Mary's, Roanoke College, Missouri Institute of Science & Technology, Rochester Institute of Technology, and Randolph Macon College. I opened up the brochure for Roanoke College, and the picture on the inside college is of two college guys standing near a body of water, both holding bottles of liquid. At a quick glance, it looks like they've been drinking heavily, straight from the bottle, by the river. When I read the text, it talked about an aquatic vertebrate project. The bottles are to collect specimens.

Look at all the shiny, happy college students! Smell the freshly printed ink on the slick brochures! I remember that smell. I remember opening up each new brochure as it arrived for me, wondering where I would go, and what the future would hold. Now that I'm on the parent end of things, I wonder what is the best choice for my child... how the hell will we pay for this... will there be gluten free foods available... where's the nearest hospital/endocrinologist... how the hell will we pay for this...

We still have a couple years to figure it all out. A couple of years for me to figure out how to let go.

Mentoring

2009-02-03T10:35:00.003-05:00

I've just signed up to take training through the JDRF to become a mentor to new families diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.

"Families diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes." Doesn't that sound funny? There's only one person diagnosed. But a diabetes diagnoses truly affects the entire family, as we found out in 2007, and as we're still learning.

I know I haven't been dealing with this disease in my own family for a very long time compared to so many others. But I am looking forward to the mentoring training, and to helping anyone else in this situation in any way I can.

Pain in the Butt

2009-01-30T21:00:00.003-05:00

Half the time Daniel does a site change, he does it on his own. Half the time I help him. We know how important it is to rotate sites so he doesn't get a goose egg under the skin and have trouble absorbing insulin. Per our diabetes nurse, we try to do about 6 different spots in one area, like the right side of the stomach, then do 6 more in another area, like the left side of the stomach, and then move on to the back of the arm, the butt, the side, etc. Daniel hates doing his thighs, so we've stayed away from that area. Too bad, because that would be an easy access for him.

It would be helpful for him to have arm extensions and a head that twisted all the way around, like an owl, to reach some of his sites on his backside. I don't know how people do it who don't have moms or partners around to help. I guess you get resourceful. Daniel's not there yet. So he directs me to put it there... no, *there*... and have the attachment for the tubing pointing kind of sideways... a little more... and I don't always get it right. Today he was complaining about his pain in the butt because I got the angle wrong yesterday.

I could say something about teenagers being a pain in the butt. Quite often they are! But then again, I'm not the one with a cannula sticking out of my ass, so I'll shut up and try for a better angle next time.

FB Meme Transferred

2009-01-28T11:34:00.002-05:00

On Facebook there's a meme going around... 25 random facts about me.

I know, you didn't ask. But in case you're interested:

1. I simply adore Gene Kelly.

2. I love the arts & humanities. I love music, visual art, writing, theater, singing. Yet I wish I had delved deeply into one of these things rather than dabbling a little into each.

3. There are books inside of me trying to get out. I feel that if I wait too long, the characters will perish, and I will be guilty of murder.

4. I teach Sunday school. But I'm a Unitarian, so Sunday school is pretty wacky.

5. I am surprised to find myself teaching for a living. I never believed I had the patience/planning/creativity for that.

6. I am allergic to eggplant.

7. Having to deal with my child's chronic illness has changed me. I think I became more anal retentive when I had children (just to stay on top of everything that *needed* to be done) and now that A.R. quality has been honed and intensified.

8. I believe I would be happy to work at a dead-end job for an hourly wage, as long as I could do it in Hawaii.

9. When my friends had kids with peanut allergies, I used to think "I don't know how they deal with that!" when it came to reading every label, separating all the food, dealing with school & parties, etc. Now that we have celiac in the family, people tell me that they don't know how I deal with that. But I do. I have found that you do what you have to do for your family.

10. Don't touch the crossword puzzle. It's mine.

11. I have to have music to drive long distances. And I have to sing loudly to arrive safely. Bring your ear plugs.

12. Must have chocolate.

13. I believe we are here for a reason. However, we may never know what the reason is.

14. My paternal grandparents died 10 years ago, but I still dream about them and sometimes sense them. I feel like I should call them sometimes.

15. I don't think I've reached my potential, and I'm afraid time is going too fast.

16. When I was quite young, my mom dressed me up and entered me into one of those pretty little girl contests. It was at a mall, I think. I remember being surrounded by all the lovely girls with their tulle dresses and flowing hair and knowing, at such an early age, that I was totally, utterly in the wrong place.

17. I've been to 5 Billy Joel concerts. Once I sat in the 2nd row and caught a drumstick.

18. I live vicariously through Brad, my oldest, dearest friend, who is an actor. I imagine my life if I had followed his career path. I wonder what kind of person I would be if I had gone north instead of west. Not that I'm unhappy. Quite the opposite. Just curious.

19. I loved the short time I spent in graduate school for poetry at the U. of Pittsburgh. It was a flowering, an awakening. I am so sorry I never got my MFA.

20. I'm scared of spiders, but I try not to let my kids see that.

21. My favorite chore is laundry. It is warm and gives you time to think. My least favorite is mopping. You have to move everything, and you have to vacuum first, which makes it a double chore. Or a triple one, actually.

22. I've quilted, knitted, sewed, and woven, but don't know how to crochet.

23. I think I can fix almost anything, as long as there is a clear instruction manual.

24. I found out that kids don't come with instruction manuals.

25. One of my favorite weekends was an escape spent with 3 girlfriends in Cape May. We solved all the world's problems as we walked the beach, snooped, shopped, played, sang, and drowzed. I'll treasure that weekend forever.

Tell me 25 random things about you!!

Bloody, bloody...

2009-01-24T14:55:00.004-05:00

Maybe I should spit though my fingers when Daniel says, "I haven't had a bloody nose in a while!" Two in the past 24 hours. I blame video games. :) I might as well blame something, right?

I dropped Nora off at a birthday party today, and the mom of another of the party attendees stopped me to ask a question. She is someone I know from summers, from the our pool. Her niece was just diagnosed with T1... did I have any advice?

I thought those funny pool relationships. I don't know some of those people very well because I only see them a couple of months out of the year. But there are things that I *do* know. She's the one with the triplets. That's the guy in the messy divorce. She's recovering from cancer. She's the one with the diabetic kid. Oh... that's me.

When it comes to a scary disease, and the helpless feeling that accompanies it, I'm willing to talk to relative or complete strangers in search of answers and advice. Now that I've been through this terrible diabetes diagnosis with my own child, I'm certainly willing to be the person on the giving end of that conversation. The one who says, "You are not alone. Let me help you. We will get through this."

Thank goodness, once again, for our modern conveniences. Our cell phones and social networks, our blog sites and digital cameras. These are the tools we use to connect with people in similar situations, this is how we keep from drowning in fear. Although I may not find all the answers I seek online when asking fellow bloggers questions about diabetes & celiac, I always find a friendly voice, a companion on this journey, a light on the path. Sometimes, that's all the answer I need.

Spitting Through My Fingers

2009-01-22T21:29:00.002-05:00

Ptui, Ptui, Ptui! Three times. Keep away, bad luck. It's one of those old country things, a funky superstition evil eye warder-offer.

Here's when I want to do it: Every time Daniel says, "Hey mom, my numbers have been really great these past few days."

Change, Statistics, Hope, and Cake

2009-01-20T19:19:00.003-05:00

It was a beautiful day for change. Cold and sunny and filled with joy. I was overcome with emotion as Barack Obama was sworn in, as the music played, and the poem was read. I hope for positive change in this country, and for a collaboration of the great minds in government and business and community to bring about a better health care system and support new directions in medical research.

I watched the inauguration on television, surrounded by family and friends. I whispered to my youngest, Dominic, that he will always remember the remarkable day in American history when the first African American was sworn in as president. That he could be proud that his family supported it, and was lucky enough to see the moment. As Barack Obama walked into the crowd and took his seat, waiting to be sworn in, Dominic had something to say.

"Now that Obama will be president, there's a fifty percent chance that Daniel will be cured! Maybe a 90% chance!"

Daniel, being a teenager, told his little brother to shut up. But for me, hope is always there. Hope is tangible, precious, and necessary. Dominic has heard us talk about the health care system, stem cell research, funding for clinical trials, etc. etc. You just never know how a young kid processes all that info swirling around the dinner table. Today it was processed into hopeful dreams for a cure for diabetes, based on the inauguration of Barack Obama. Well, why not.

On a completely different topic, yesterday my in laws and parents came to dinner, and I decided to try a recipe I found for gluten-free angel food cake. There have been luscious strawberries and blueberries in the grocery store this week, and I figured we'd throw some on top of the cake and call it dessert.

I had never made angel food cake before, gluten free or not. This turned out so good though, that I though I'd post the recipe. I found the recipe at glutenfreemommy, and I thank her for sharing it.

Use 1 cup gluten free flour ( I used the suggested mixture of 1/4 cup millet flour, 1/4 cup tapioca flour, 1/4 cup white rice flour and 1/4 cup sweet rice flour.) The texture with this flour mix was delightful. I was lucky enough to find sweet rice flour when I went to Connecticut during the holidays. I haven't found it in my area.

1 teaspoon xanthan gum

12 egg whites, room temperature (to maximize volume of egg whites). But here's a tip: eggs separate easier when they are cold. So separate them right when you take them out of the refrigerator. Then put the yolks in the fridge for another use (I made custard, yum!) and let the whites get to room temp before beating.

1 1/2 teaspoons cream of tartar

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 Tablespoon vanilla

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar, divided.

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Separate egg whites in a stainless steel bowl and let them come to room temperature. In a separate medium bowl, sift gluten free flour, salt, xanthan gum, and 3/4 cup of the sugar (or whisk together well, if you don't have a sifter). Beat the egg whites until foamy. Add the cream of tartar. Beat until the egg whites form soft peaks. Beat in the other reserved 3/4 cup of sugar about 3 Tablespoons at a time. Beat until stiff peaks form.

I have a Kitchen Aid standing mixer. Not the largest one, but it's still a good size. When I got to this point in the recipe, the egg whites were up to the top of the bowl. They didn't climb out of the bowl, but they were high enough that they looked like they were planning their escape! I thought perhaps they weren't getting mixed in well enough, but soon they took on a nice, glossy sheen, and they reached the proper stiffness.

Stop the mixer at this point. Slowly fold in flour mixture about 1/4 cup at a time using a large spatula. Don't be so aggressive that you deflate the whites, but be thorough enough to distribute the flour. Once the flour mixture is combined, fold in the vanilla in the same way.

Slowly pour the batter into an ungreased tube pan (preferably one where the inside lifts out) and spread the batter evenly. I didn't have one where the inside lifts out, so I just cut a piece of parchment paper to fit and put it on the bottom. Run a knife through the cake to get rid of any big air bubbles. Bake for 50-55 minutes until top is golden. The sides may or may not begin to pull away. Cool for 10 minutes. Run the edges of a knife along the pan and pull out the insert to the tube pan. Or, if you don't have an insert, turn the pan over to release the cake. Remove parchment paper, if used. Invert onto a cake plate. Serve with topping of choice!

It was so delicious. I served it with fresh strawberries. I also cooked some strawberries into sauce to go along side. The whole thing disappeared! Well, there were 9 of us...

2009-01-17T18:05:00.001-05:00

*Love* it.

Numbers in line...

2009-01-16T19:18:00.003-05:00

A week has flown by since my last post... a busy week here in our household! My husband returned from his business trip, so we had a re-Christmas and re-birthday celebration last weekend. More yummy foods, more presents to open, more of the general madness, merriment, and disruption from routine that is brought on by a holiday. This time Daniel's blood sugar stayed in line, however.

We seem to have difficulty keeping Daniel's blood sugar stable while traveling. Also, Daniel wasn't incredibly disciplined during this last trip... lots of food around grandma's house, lots of nibbling without really knowing a carb count. I know it is a chore on any given day to count the carbs of all the food he eats. I experience the same frustration doing Weight Watchers, trying to track my points. I greatly dislike tracking every little thing I put into my mouth, yet that's exactly what I have to do for Daniel. What he has to do for himself. Huh. I don't mind counting all *his* food, but I seriously balk at counting up my own. What's up with that?

I did gain a little weight over the holidays -- 1.4 pounds, but I'm not too upset with that. I'd rather have stayed level, but am very happy to have kept the gain under 5 pounds. I'm back on track with the program, and will *attempt* to write down all the foods I eat and get my own numbers in line. They say that people who do track their intake religiously lose more weight than people who don't. I guess I have to explore why I consider tracking to be so difficult. Honestly, half the time I just forget. I need to find a way to make this habit stick. To do for myself what I do for my son.

The Long and Scary Roads

2009-01-08T20:30:00.005-05:00

***Occasionally I find it hysterical that the life-saving medicine stands next to the butter.***

We raise our children only to let them go. It is my job as a mom to teach my kids right from wrong, to try to do their best, be polite, put their dishes in the dishwasher and pick up after themselves. Hopefully, when they are adults (in some far, distant future, right?) they will have the tools they need to survive the world and the personality traits and social skills to help them succeed.

Back in the stone ages when I was in high school, driver's ed was taught as an in-school class. The football coach put us through our paces, both on the driving simulators and on asphalt. After a semester of training (plus a few extra parallel parking lessons with parents) we were supposed to be prepared to take our exam. I remember that my parents needed to hire a driving instructor in addition to what I learned in school because all our cars were stick shift, while at school they only taught automatic.

Driver's ed is no longer in our high schools, sadly. It was slashed from the budget long ago. Unfortunately for Daniel, there is no real convenient driving school around. Nothing he can walk to from high school, and his school bus doesn't get him home in time to make the class at the one closest to our house. Drivers ed, for Daniel, may have to wait until spring break or summer.

Now that Daniel is ready to get his learners permit, and as much as I could really use another driver in the house, I feel like an invisible force is peeling my protective fingers off his shoulders. The force is time itself, the future that arrives with each exhale. The heartbeat that drums, "let go, let go, let go." I remember how ready I was at 16 to get my driver's license and experience the heady feeling of freedom (even though it was my parent's vehicle and I lived in their house). At the same time I balk at the notion of Daniel behind the wheel. Even knowing he is a good kid, even though he doesn't take chances with his health, it's hard enough to entrust Daniel to the supposed caution of thousands of other drivers on the road without even adding his diabetes into the equation.

Hypoglycemia while driving is as dangerous as any drunk driver. It can rush in as quickly as a summer thunderstorm, it is more distracting than texting while steering. Even before Daniel was eligible to get his learners permit, I explained the importance of testing his blood sugar before putting the key in the ignition, and of keeping sugar easily accessible.

You see, even if I do a perfect job as a parent , if all the lessons are properly taught and absorbed, there's always a wild card, a monkey wrench that can set us spinning off course. Like a rock on the road the size of a cauliflower (that was this summer) or a diabetes diagnosis. That's life, I know, and I make peace with that, or try to, on a daily basis. But there is a part of me that will always grasp for control, and will always reach out to protect my children. That's the mom part of me. It's bone-deep and unstoppable.

Battle

2009-01-06T20:09:00.005-05:00

War is a failure of humanity. An inability to communicate. To perform atrocities against another group of people, we must dehumanize them so we can ignore the fact that there are faces, hearts, loves being destroyed.

When I hear about the conflict in Gaza, all I can think about are the innocent families caught in the crossfire. Families on both sides of the border. The pain and the emotions run so deep, so far back in time, that I have little hope of a solution in the near future.

I heard today on the news about an Israeli blogger who calls himself "Hopeman" and a Palestinian blogger who calls himself "Peaceman" who live close to each other across the border around Gaza. They have come to know and trust each other through years of blogging. They have reached across centuries of hate and mistrust to strive towards a common goal: peace and cohabitation. That story sparked a prayer.

The world continues to get smaller with all of our technological advances. We can meet people across the world, or even our neighbors across the street, whom we would never otherwise talk to, through the miracle of social networks, blogs, and websites. Maybe there is a way to reach across cyberspace and make tentative, non-emotional contact. In the privacy of our own homes to find out, one by one, what it is like to step away from a tradition of war and hatred toward friendship. To find the face, the humanity of our supposed enemy.

Shanti, shanti, shanti. I pray for peace.

Back To School

2009-01-05T18:58:00.003-05:00

It was very difficult to get up at 5:20 this morning after a couple of weeks of awakening *after* the sun. But the body falls into a rountine, from bed to shower to kitchen counter, and before I knew it I was making lunches in my semi-wakened state. I had a few days of distress leading up to the first day back. It's almost like preparing for a performance -- do I know all my lines? Is my costume ready? Am I "in the zone?" And although it was an extremely long day, the kids pretty much behaved themselves and seemed resigned to returning to rountine as well.

After school was over I went to the kitchen to wash out my mug. One of our first grade teachers was there getting some caffiene, and she commented on how tired she was and how long the day was and that she only got a few hours of sleep.

"Why?" I asked. I hoped she was feeling okay with all the yukky bugs going around.

"I was nervous!" She said. Even though she has taught for many years, she was nervous to get back into the routine after having a couple weeks off.

Oh, that made me feel so much better. I thought it was just me, as a first time teacher, lack of experience, first year nerves, going through this kind of stress. But it must be more universal than I thought. I am so much more at ease for tomorrow now.

In diabetes news... I emailed Daniel's nurse today because he has had quite a number of nosebleeds lately. I did some research on line to find out if there is some correlation between Type 1 and nosebleeds. I found other people asking the same question, but no answers.

Daniel's nurse emailed me back that there is no real connection. However... if your numbers are high, you get dehydrated, which can also dry out the nasal membranes. Of course the cold weather/dry houses can cause nosebleeds without any help from high bloodsugars, and the combination of the two probably makes things worse.

Daniel was running high over vacation. Food everywhere... but his numbers were normal all day to day -- probably because he is back into his routine. I hope the nosebleeds disappear as well. They are a little scary!

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T21:52:00.001-05:00

May this year be filled with blessings, good health, peace, and love.

My cousins sent me a fabulous youtube new year's greeting, and I'm happy to share it with you!

Pink Panther

2008-12-22T19:24:00.002-05:00

We've got a diabetic sick day going on. Daniel came down with the wicked stomach flu that has ravaged our household. I dug out the good old Pink Panther book, which so wonderfully explains what to do when ketones approach.

Daniel is hovering just over the range of normal -- he's been in the 140's all day, but has recently inched up to the 170's. His latest test for ketones found some in trace to small levels. So he just had some ginger ale with an insulin chaser, and we'll see what happens next.

As we've each gotten sick, we've all gravitated to a corner of the big green couch, curled into a comma shape, and covered up with a big, furry blanket. It must be the most comfortable spot in the house. I wish it had magical healing properties, too.

Perspective

2008-12-21T16:42:00.002-05:00

Perspective changes everything. I remember roiling in angst when I was in my 20's over something... a relationship? Money problems? Who knows anymore. I took a walk outside that evening into a moment of perfection. A rising moon, branches silhouetted against the surreal shades of blue and green. In wonder, surrounded by something much greater than myself, my worries dropped away. And when I picked them back up again, as I felt I needed to do, I found they were not quite as powerful as they had been before. Why? Because I had been able to let them go, if just for a few moments. The magic of the moment was tangible, and I could summon it, from time to time, to help me let go of angst again.

I am missing my best friend today, my partner, my love. It colors everything I do. So what I do, for now, is go through the motions of the day, and hope for a golden moment of perspective.

Losing It

2008-12-19T08:04:00.003-05:00

There's a nasty stomach virus around... and it is in my house! Nora caught it first, followed quickly by me. Ugh. Then we had a couple days of lovely peace and quiet. I thought, "Yay! It's gone!" And, "PHEW, Daniel escaped!" Because the thought of dealing with the stomach virus/diabetes combination makes me queasy all over again.

And still, Daniel has escaped it. I'm asking him to wash his hands every half hour or so! :) But Dominic started up at 2:30 this morning.

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Doing more laundry. Bleaching more bathrooms.

Why do little boys...

2008-12-14T18:56:00.001-05:00

Why do little boys take their sister's razors while they are in the bathtub and shave their eyebrows?

I don't think Dominic will let me take a picture.

11:30 pm, 3:00 am, 5:15 am

2008-12-14T06:32:00.002-05:00

Last night was the holiday party thrown by Matt's office. It was at the Gaylord Hotel & Conference Center, on the new waterfront area built just south of DC. Lovely, HUGE... it was snowing inside the main lobby, just for effect. The staff was fabulous, the dinner was okay, the dresses were fun to observe. Traffic was better than expected both to and from the event, and we got home just in time to hear Nora throwing up in her room. Yeah, it was one of those messy ones.

11:30 pm, 3:00 a.m., 5:15 a.m. It's a tummy bug. I kept telling myself that after the 3:00 a.m. vomit --the one where she told me she was awfully thirsty. I remembered we had been out shopping together earlier in the day and she told me how thirsty she was. (I was as well -- shopping and cold, dry weather will do that to you.)

Nonetheless the monkey in my brain is saying, "Should you go check her blood sugar? How about keytones? How long has she been thirsty? Has she lost weight?" The other part of my brain, the one that truly wants to get some rest is saying, "Shut up. You were thirsty, too. She has a slight fever. It's a tummy bug. The clinical trial people said last summer she didn't have the antibodies in her blood showing diabetes. SHUT UP. GO TO SLEEP."

Maybe I slept. I'm not sure. I've got a field trip this morning with my church kids. I just folded the 11:30 p.m. laundry and am putting the 3:00 a.m. laundry in the dryer. Time to start the day. Sat Nam.

Squirrel Butt

2008-12-13T14:47:00.001-05:00

Uncensored.

The things we do for a laugh...

Type 1 Diabetes & Celiac are Linked

2008-12-11T21:46:00.003-05:00

Thanks to my sister in law for passing along this article from the Boston Globe:

The following appeared on Boston.com:
Headline: Juvenile diabetes, celiac disease linked
Date:     Dec 11, 2008   

"WASHINGTON - Type-1 diabetes and celiac disease, also known
as gluten intolerance, share at least some genetic roots, researchers
reported yesterday."


To see this recommendation, click on the link below or cut and paste it
into a Web browser:


http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2008/12/11/juvenile_diabet
es_celiac_disease_linked?s_campaign=8315

Season of Sweets

2008-12-10T13:01:00.002-05:00

It started today.

I walked into my classroom, and on my desk sat a chocolate chip pound cake. Just what I need! The season of sweets has started. I have been trying so hard to lose the weight I gained after Daniel was diagnosed -- I neglected myself for a while. Plus I was sad. Eating = comfort. Sadness scares away the desire to exercise. Bad combination. So I've lost *almost* 10 of the pounds I gained, and am almost at the point where my brain says, "Hey! Just for fun, whaddaya say we exercise today!" It's a weird paradigm shift.

Then the cake appears, and I know it is only the beginning.

The kids have already started asking, "when are we going to make cookies/toffee/pizzelles?" They came home with trays of chocolates from our church's holiday craft day.

I need a strategy to get through the next few weeks. Celery, anyone?

PC

2008-12-08T11:25:00.002-05:00

Here's the email laugh I got today:

To All My Politically Correct Friends:Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wished.

Radiant

2008-12-06T07:56:00.003-05:00

I am so thankful that my family is giving me the time and space to attend a weekend long workshop to learn the Radiant Child Yoga Program. I have taken yoga for more than 20 years, but have studied mostly Hatha and Iyengar schools, and only touched briefly on Kundalini Yoga. Kundalini yoga is filled with movement and vibrant energy, and is perfect for children, especially the wiggly ones! Shakta Kaur Khalsa, who is teaching the class, has written stories to go along with the yoga movements, and they so wonderfully turn yoga class into a directed playtime that has physical and psychological benefits for the kids.

I am also experiencing the benefit of a new kind of yoga. As always, yoga opens up the mind, stretches and strengthens the body, and brings a sense of joy. I hope to share this feeling in children's yoga classes soon!

Big Feet

2008-12-03T23:38:00.002-05:00

It happened today. Nora took my boots & wore them to school. She is wearing my shoes. They were my cream knit boots with the pom poms.

She's wearing my shoes.

Daniel, the Game Maker

2008-12-02T18:59:00.003-05:00

Here's the first video game that Daniel wrote! It's up on yoyogames.com. Click on the link below to play. Yay, Daniel!

Hungry Hungry S...
Added: 26 November 2008
By: samusrules93

Rainbow

2008-12-01T16:29:00.003-05:00

I was on the phone with Nora when I pulled into the bank to go into the drive-through. I was telling her that there was a lovely rainbow outside, and she should go look. There were two drive through lines, with cars at both stations. There was a car waiting behind the the person in the left lane, so I pulled into the right-hand lane to wait behind the other car.

As I hung up with Nora, I heard a beep. The lady waiting behind the left-hand car was beeping at me. I rolled down my window.

"Excuse me," she said, "I was waiting in line for the next available space. So you should wait behind me, it just makes sense."

I said, "No, that's not the way it works. There are two tellers. Two lines. You just pull up to the next open space."

She said, "Well I think it makes sense to wait for the next open spot," or something like that. I once again said that I believed you just pulled into whatever line is available. That's the way it is with drive up banking as opposed to waiting in line inside. Two drive ups. Don't cross over the white line. I was also about to explain that in any case, if I got behind her and ANOTHER car wanted to get in line, it would go right past me and take the next space! But before I could say that she smiled sweetly at me and said, "well, if it is that important to you, just pull right up." And she rolled up her window. Patronizing bitch.

So I did! And to prove my point, another car pulled in at that very moment, right behind her. I pointed at the car, as if to explain my point, but she was no longer looking at me.

I could have said that it didn't really matter. I always pick the wrong line, especially when there are two open and I have a choice. This time I didn't have a choice. There was one line open. I took it.

I hate it when people are so smarmy and condescending, especially when they are WRONG.

My line was slower, of course. It always is. And when I left the bank, the rainbow was gone.

Numbers numbers numbers

2008-11-22T19:21:00.004-05:00

The latest A1c came back at 7.7. But that was right before Daniel got the pump, and his numbers were lousy. He was running high every evening without fail, and when we tried to mess with his lantus or dinner ratios, he'd go low either in the middle of the night or the morning.

Today Daniel remarked how his numbers had really been in range lately. We got the CareLink device that uploads his pump info to the medtronic website, so we can generate reports and check out his trends. Pretty cool. It's good to see his blood sugar moving back into range. Still some highs, but not as many. We seem to have gotten that evening high under control.

Knock wood.

Thanksgiving is around the corner and I haven't even looked at my recipes yet. Delaying the inevitable. Also, my dad has been in poor health lately, and I'm praying that he will be will enough to join us on Thursday. I believe all will be well. I believe it strongly, because he is more negative, and I have to offset his thoughts.

I really enjoy Thanksgiving. The food is wonderful, and I love getting together with family and friends. I just wish I had an extra day off this week to prepare for the "Pie-a-palooza!"

Cold & Poetry

2008-11-21T11:45:00.004-05:00

Autumn is granting us some chilly days; the forecasters scramble around trying to predict the season of snow. A change of weather always makes me think of my favorite poet, Mary Oliver. The purple part is my favorite, a mantra, a truth.

Starlings in Winter

Chunky and noisy,

but with stars in their black feathers,

they spring from the telephone wire

and instantly

they are acrobats

in the freezing wind.

And now, in the theater of air,

they swing over buildings,

dipping and rising;

they float like one stippled star

that opens,

becomes for a moment fragmented,

then closes again;

and you watch

and you try

but you simply can’t imagine

how they do it

with no articulated instruction, no pause,

only the silent confirmation

that they are this notable thing,

this wheel of many parts, that can rise and spin

over and over again,

full of gorgeous life.

Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us,

even in the leafless winter,

even in the ashy city.

I am thinking now

of grief, and of getting past it;

I feel my boots

trying to leave the ground,

I feel my heart

pumping hard. I want

to think again of dangerous and noble things.

I want to be light and frolicsome.

I want to be improbable beautiful and afraid of nothing,

as though I had wings.

~ Mary Oliver ~