Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Naomi needs meme

Okay, this is the meme that is floating around where you go to google and type in your name followed by "needs," so mine is "Naomi needs" and then write down the first 10 things that show up and respond. I think some of my google hits are hysterical because I share a first name with the not so well behaved Naomi Campbell.

1. Naomi needs a job, house, apartment, wife, husband...I could go on and on I would just seem real needy.

Okay. This one actually made some sense, in that I have been looking for a new job and have often thought that I could use a wife in addition to the husband I already have. He's wonderful, but he's not a wife. You know? And if I ended up with another house, I would hope it would be on a beach. So the new wife better be reaaalllly rich.

2. Naomi Needs Help.

Yeah. Always.

3. Naomi needs a Valium. Poor Naomi

Woo hoo! Gotta calm down! I guess google has figured out that I am a control freak and I need to relax a little! The yoga isn't working! HELP! (see #2).

4. naomi needs. takuan

Okay I wasn't quite sure what this was, so I clicked on it and it brought me to a Japan Today site where the first sentence was Naomi needs a spankee. It has been a long time since I have had a spankee, which I am defining as a cross between a spank and the hankee you need afterwards when you cry. If you ask my kids, I probably needed a spankee today. There's that old saying that my grandfather used to tell me: "Spank your children every day. If you don't know why, they will." The same could be applied to moms.

5. Naomi needs to be able to read an article and summarize the issues; Naomi needs to shut her pie hole and quit smacking people around

Gawd, and I was an English major -- poetry no less -- you'd think I could distill articles to their essense and then write about them instead of opening up my pie hole but life just doesn't work that way.

6. naomi needs to know how i feel about her trying to change me

I'm sorry. Naomi doesn't really care how you feel about her trying to change you. Just change. Naomi knows better.

7. Naomi needs to take some sort of anger management class.................A lengthy one

So anger is my outlet. It's creative as well as destructive. I smash the pottery and then create mosaics. Just don't walk barefoot in my house.

8. Naomi Needs Divorce from Irish Voice

I went to the judge to ask for a divorce from the Irish voice. He said I was crazy. The voice said Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat, and it's lucky the judge didn't hear or I might have been thrown in jail. So I'm stuck with this damned voice. Ah well. Meallan muilte Dé go mall ach meallan siad go mion..

9. Naomi needs to just STOP IT AND GROW UP!!!!!

I won't grow up! I don't want to go to school, just to learn to be a parrot and recite a silly rule!
If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up, Not me! Not I, not me!

10. Maybe Naomi needs to get together with Tyra and take a bit of aggression

I do have a friend named Tyra. How did google know? I'll have to give her a call. We can take a bit of aggression. We can take whatever aggression comes our way. Just be ready to deal with the consequences!

That's all, folks!

4 comments:

Sister-in-law said...

Takuan is also a type of Japanese pickle made out of a long, white daikon (radish), usually dyed yellow.

So maybe you need a long, yellow pickled radish?! I, for one, love takuan!!

Kathryn

Naomi said...

Are you insinuating that I need a long, yellow, pickled radish?????

:) I'm not going there!

jules said...

those are hilarious!!
was that gaelic??

Naomi said...

I googled "Irish phrases" and found that. It must be gaelic.