Wednesday, November 14, 2007

What to Do?

Sunday at church a couple of my co-teachers asked me if I wanted to train with them to do the Avon breast cancer walk in May. My first thought was, “of course!” And my second was, “no! I can’t do that, I have to walk/ride/swim/spin/fundraise for diabetes!” I bobbled my words for a half minute, and then explained my dilemma. I’m truly torn! On the one hand, I have two close friends who are breast cancer survivors. I know the fear, pain, anger, and suffering they have been through. I would do anything for them. Yet, now that Daniel has diabetes, that disease has been the focus of my days, nights, fundraising efforts, letter-writing campaigns, exhaustion, and nightmares.

Sometimes I feel that, as a human being, I have an unending wellspring of love that will support me through whatever life throws my way. And some days I feel that I can’t give away even one more sliver of myself. It all depends on how much sleep I’ve gotten that week! But I remain torn. I’d love to support my friends with breast cancer. I’d like to train for a two-day walk through the winter months with that goal in mind. But I’m also less than a year into this battle with diabetes, and I don’t know what the next few months will bring. What would you do?

It is world diabetes day. Is that answer enough?

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