I just had to get out of the house & do some shopping for my daughter whose sneakers fell apart. She also got a coupon from Limited Too for her birthday, so we spent 45 minutes in there agonizing over clothes, stuffed animals, toys & candy.
Then on the way to the shoe store my husband calls to say that they totally lost track of time at home and are just having lunch now (an hour late). This is the day after the wicked low.
And I think to myself, should I ever leave the house? I didn't call at 1 because Matt was home. But he was working and Daniel had a friend over and time just slipped away.
And it wasn't so bad. Daniel was at 73. We do the best we can do.
But later Daniel was sad. Here we are, almost 4 months after dx, and it is the first time I've seen him hang his head since his days at the hospital. His shoulders were hunched over and I could see the weight of diabetes & celiac diagnoses like a physical presence on his spine. Usually he smiles, shrugs, and says, "I'm going to do what I have to do!" Takes it in stride. But last night he was down.
We talked it out, and I reminded him that there is a therapist at Children's Hospital that works with diabetes patients if he feels that talking to me or to his dad or friends isn't enough.
Which he didn't want to do, but he knows it is there if he changes his mind. And by the time he went to bed, he was smiling again. But maybe just for my benefit.
I fell into a deep funk last night. I haven't cried like that for a while about the unfairness of it all, how random and strange it is that this has taken over my son's life, how it has changed our family.
But today I read a blog post by Brett Griswold entitled "Why me? WHY NOT ME?" which really lifted me up. He has an amazing attitude & perspective on life with diabetes.
I'm so thankful for blogs, this incredible medium, the ability for us to find others who can encourage us with their stories. I carry Daniel's diabetes in my heart every day; his schedule of shots & meals sets an order to the family's day. But there is life to be lived above and beyond this condition. I just need to be reminded every once in a while.
Good news though -- we will be switching to basal/bolus in October. Something new to learn.
4 comments:
You all are going through a HUGE adjustment right now and will be going through it for some time before you feel like it's all blending in to daily life.
I remember during the first weeks of Brendon's diagnosis wondering how I'll ever get through the day because diabetes was so magnified and focused on constantly. Each day felt like a week. I was aware of every hour of the day because of his eating and testing schedule.
And now we're coming up to 5 years and I wonder how the time flew by so quickly.
This first year will feel like you're walking in quicksand, but soon you'll find yourselves walking on land again.
Funny, Daniel was only diagnosed in May, but it feels like it has been forever, just like you said. I think that's the nature of the beast, the 24 hr/a day maintenance. I DO have to remember it has only been a short time & give myself a break! :-) Thanks.
Hi
Thank you for the nice comments. You mentioned that you cannot imagine what it is like to have diabetes..while I on the other can't imagine what it is like to have a loved one with it. Your hard work and support will help him.
Brett,
I was at my son's back to school night the other night, and under the "concerns" portion of the multiple forms I filled out, I wrote that my biggest concern was his diabetes management, but that diabetes did NOT define him! I don't want to let this disease decide who he is or what he will become. And it is helpful for me to read what you, as a diabetic (and a few years ahead of my son) have to say & how you approach life. Thanks again.
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